a sensible proposal
by Ohimesama1
Summary: kou shuurei a woman torn between duty and her own feelings decides her future and that of the clanRyuukixShuurei, Kouyu Shuurei, ShuueiKouyu impliedLast Chapter updated
1. Chapter 1

A Sensible Proposal

Disclaimer: don't own the characters or the story of Saiunkoku

**Chapter 1**

Kou Shuurei sighed for what seem like the hundredth time.

She had not moved from her spot in front of the mirror. She could hardly recognize the tired face staring at her. The dark circles beneath her eyes were cleverly hidden by the barest hint of makeup but she knew they were there. Today of all days she needed to look her best.

Perhaps it was the lack of sleep over the past several weeks or the constant worrying that she was making the worse mistake of her life.

Was she? By all accounts this was the most reasonable marriage proposal she had been offered in the past several months.

There was always the option of continuing as she had for so long ...unwed and free.

Yet she knew this was not in the best interest of the Kou clan and she had put off the question for far too long.

Perhaps most of all she wanted to give him her final answer.

She had been neither fair nor honest with him. While she had strong feelings for him she could never be his empress.

She could be a wife...but not an empress. She had carved a place in politics on her own merits and was far too opinionated to be relegated to a ceremonial head of state. Marrying him would mean losing all that she'd had worked so hard to achieve... yet marrying another would mean losing him forever.

She winced and bit her lip, causing it to turn crimson...the same color as her bridal garment. The color that symbolize the glory and grandeur of the Kou clan.

She had already cried until she was sure there were no tears left.

That night had been a mistake. She bent her neck gently to the right as she brought her slender fingers to examine the spot his lips had touched. Those soft lips that had suckled her as if his life depended on it, leaving small purple bruises in not-so-discreet areas. She could still feel the soft, moist kisses he had left behind, and the evidence of their passionate encounter stuck out like a sore thumb despite vain attempts to mask it with body powder.

A soft knock at the door brought her back to the present as she hastily adjusted her robe.

"Shuurei, may I enter?" the visitor asked.

"Come in," she replied, turning her shoulder to the mirror to face the man of the hour.

"The maid said you weren't feeling well."

"Well, it's my wedding day, after all... I am entitled to be just a little bit nervous." She forced a smile.

"It's mine too, but I feel ready. Had it been a few years ago I'd be pacing up and down like a blushing bride," he chuckled.

Indeed, she thought to herself. Li Kouyu had changed over the years. Certainly his sense of direction was as bad as ever but he had become more confident--so much so that Reishin had thought of early retirement as head of the clan to make way for his protégé and son.

"I'll be fine," she reassured him.

He smiled and knelt in front of her, taking her hand he held it in his.

It was almost too much for her to bear, given what what she feared. He was kind, but while she wasn't sure he loved her she knew that she would never love him back.

"Thank you for your concern, but really I'll be fine. She patted his hand and smiled, this time genuinely.

He leaned forward, kissing her gently on the forehead before rising.

"You need to rest... especially in your condition," he gently admonished her. "I'll see at the banquet this evening," he added.

She couldn't help but compare the two men. In contrast to Ryuuki's passionate declarations of love, he Kouyu was cordial at best. Throughout their brief courtship he never once kissed her, though he always showed the utmost concern and respect for her person.

Her stomach was starting to churn again like it had done almost every day for the past week. Shusui had insisted she see the doctor to make sure it wasn't an infection. If only it was that simple, she sighed. What she had could not be cured... in a few months her belly would be swollen as testimony to her sin.

This marriage was for the best, she reminded herself.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Characters and story of saiunkoku belongs to NHK, Yura Kairi and Yukino Sai.

This is simply a fanfiction done by a broke fangirl for enjoyment of herself and maybe others :)

Thanks for the reviews. I've decided to continue the story though I'm not sure how long it will be

or how it will end yet lol (ok maybe I have an idea but won't say).

Also If anyone with decent grammatical skills would like to be my beta please let me

know! thanks

**Chapter 2**

On a quiet spring day the Kou Clan welcomed the latest member of their growing family. Kou Shuurei had given birth to her first child, a girl. While in most cases the birth of a female child was less celebrated than that of a male heir, on this occasion things were much different. The birth of a female child came much to her mother's relief.

Shuurei held the precious bundle that was laid into her arms as she reclined on the bed, exhausted from the long labor. For the first time she was able to have a good look at her child, studying her intently. She did what most mothers would the first time they laid eyes upon their offspring. She counted the toes and fingers, making sure they were all accounted for; she examined her infant's scrunched-up face and wrinkled body, and thought to herself she looked nothing like her... but she had been told all babies looked alike at birth. She had a healthy daughter and that was all that mattered.

The infant stirred against her mother's bosom, whimpering. Shuurei sat up, rocking her back and forth in her arm to appease the child. It didn't seem to work.

Finally she looked at her midwives for guidance, with a confused look on her face.

"Shuurei-dono, I think she might be hungry. We'll take her to the wet nurse to have her fed," said the head midwife, reaching out to take the child from her mother.

"No... I would like to try nursing her myself," Shuurei replied as she uncovered one of her breasts.

She winced a little, realizing how engorged they become during recent months. She positioned the child's head against her breasts, allowing the her to latch onto her nipple. Soon the child was suckling contently.

Li Kouyu had been a wreck, pacing back and forth in the main hall of the Kou residence as he awaited news of the birth and condition of his wife and child. He had been banned from the delivery room by the horde of females buzzing around Lady Kou during her prolonged labor. Finally word was sent via a messenger that his wife and child were both safe and sound.

Upon hearing the news his friend, Shogun Ran Shuuei, offered the new father a toast and patted him on the back.

"Hope she's as cute as her mother," Ran Shuuei chuckled as he guzzled another cup of wine.

"Shut up, you drunk. Keep that up and you won't be laying eyes on either," Kouyu grumbled.

Kouyu sat down for a moment, subdued. He wanted to get up on his wobbly legs and rush to her side, but he felt a nervous agitation--a vibration in his stomach that kept him glued to his seat. What would he say or do? How was he to act?

"Well, shall we go bless the two lovely Kou Ladies with our presence?" Shuuei inquired, sensing his friend's hesitation.

"To tell you the truth, I... I'm not sure what to say... or do." Kouyu softened his voice, turning to his friend.

"Eh... there's nothing to do but get back there with your wife and child, silly." Shuuei laughed as he patted his friend's back again.

"Come on, I'll escort you to your lovely wife," he said, wrapping an arm around Kouyu's shoulder.

On any other occasion Kouyu would have simply shrugged off the rambunctious general but today he needed support. He wasn't sure how he'd react now that the child was here. While it wasn't his by blood, he knew without a doubt he'd love it. After all, he'd come to love and worship the man who'd raised him despite not having any blood ties. A small smile formed on his lips as he imagined the look on Reishin-sama's face when he got the news of the birth of his 'granddaughter/grandniece'. This child carried that man's blood and would be taken care of, he swore to himself.

------------------------

"We are coming in, Shuurei-chan," announced a merry voice.

With her child in hand and contently nursing at her breast, Shuurei had made little effort to cover herself as the the two entered the room.

Realizing too late the situation at hand, Kouyu blushed and quickly turned to Shuuei, shooing him out the room.

"Get out, I'll take over from here," he announced.

Shuuei bowed and, after quickly congratulating the happy parents, made a hasty exit.

"Sorry about that..." Kouyu said shyly as he knelt beside her bed. "How is she doing?"

"She's got quite an appetite," Shuurei smiled.

"But I think she's just about done," she added as the child released her nipple. Kouyu coughed, clearing his throat.

"Um... well... may I hold her?" he asked finally.

"Of course," Shuurei replied, as she wrapped the child up and handed her to him.

Kouyu held the child protectively in his arms, gently rocking her back and forth as he studied her intently. He couldn't believe that he was now responsible for another human being. First marriage and now a child, two things that he had sworn off countless times in the past, and yet here he was totally enraptured by this tiny being.

"What will we call her?" he asked, as he nervously held their infant daughter for the first time.

"I hadn't thought about it..." Shuurei replied honestly.

"Do you mind if I name her?" he asked.

Shuurei looked up and their eyes met for the first time since he'd entered the room.

"You seem to have a calming effect on her... she hasn't even made a peep since you've had her in her arms," she smiled.

"Murasaki Hime...," he whispered softly to the little girl in his arms.

"Mu..ra..saki?" Shuurei echoed.

"In honor of His Majesty, since she shares his birthday," he added.

Shuurei fell silent, and then nodded.

"Speaking of which," he continued, "I shall be paying my respects at his banquet tonight. You don't have to attend, of course, and I'm sure His Highness would understand."

"She's beautiful," he said, handing the child back to her mother.

"Kou...yu..." she started, but he silenced her with a gentle finger placed against her lips.

"Shhh...rest now. I'll take care of the rest," he said, caressing her cheeks and following it with a chaste kiss on her mouth.

"I'll see you in the morning," he finished, as he made his exit out of her bedchamber.

Shuurei sighed, falling back on the pillows as she laid the sleeping infant next to her.

She had all but forgotten the second most important celebration in the land. After New Year's, the emperor's birthday was probably the most celebrated event in the kingdom.

"Ry..uu..ki," she whispered softly.

Uttering that name flooded her senses with bittersweet anguish, and fondness, and much nostalgia. He had grown up to become an emperor worthy of praise and respect. Most of all, he was a just and fair ruler; she thought to herself how much he had matured since the first time they'd met, a little over a decade ago. She recalled with fondness the fateful meeting under the blooming cherry blossom tree in the imperial garden that had made it possible for them to cross paths. Had it not been for her dire circumstances at the time and her weakness in not turning down Shou Taishi's lucrative deal, she perhaps would have continued a quiet life as the poor daughter from a noble clan who taught village children how to read and write. However, fate had had greater things planned for her.

She had accomplished what most women of her time could only dream of, but even then she realized how powerless she would have been had it not been for his authority and support bending the rigid rules of gender and politics. Perhaps part of her affection came from gratitude... yet she also couldn't deny how vulnerable she was to his childlike behavior, his insecurities and neediness.Try as she might she was never quite able to escape his suffocating embrace and desire or need for her. When she finally made her decision to take a husband she'd thought it would be the clincher to end what she had long insisted was a futile dream, and what Shou Tasihi had called a hindrance to the stability of the kingdom.

She couldn't be his empress, yet she couldn't keep him tied to her through a hopeless love that would produce no legitimate heirs. Duty to her clan was also on the line. Her uncles had been playing matchmaker for years, and had finally settled on a suitable candidate.

She recalled the night she had asked Ryuuki to meet her under the cherry blossom tree in her father's garden, a gift from him to her. He seemed so lost and tired.

flashback

_"Ryuuki... I came to say my farewells," she said._

_"I feared as much. However, I won't accept it." He bit his lip._

_"We are not children. We have duties, and you more than anyone know that certain things come before all else... country, family..." she continued._

_"Shuurei, I know all this but you are and have always been the most important thing--more than duty and..."_

_"We are both too stubborn and headstrong for this to work... and you deserve a much more refined, cultured woman as your empress. Something I am neither," she added._

_"I don't want anyone else. I need only you," he stammered._

_"Don't say that! You're reverting to that spoiled brat I detest," she interrupted._

_"Fine, if that's the case, say you don't love me and I'll leave," he demanded._

_"I... I can't," she protested. "Ryuuki ... sayonara." She turned, taking off as fast as her feet could carry her. Her steps were light as a feather, but not fast enough to escape him._

_He took off after her, and soon he had grabbed her by her hand and was clinging to it for dear life"_

_Adamant that she was making a mistake. and refusing to accept defeat, he tightened his hold on her hand. In the end they ended up entangled in each others' embrace, she giving in to his neediness more than she would have in the past. She remembered how frantic he was with his kisses . She had put up so little resistance, resigning herself to what she had wanted for the longest time but had denied herself due to her own fears and insecurities._

_He had taken her chin in his hand, forcing her to look into his eyes. He realized then that he didn't need words to tell him that she loved him. Shuurei recalled how vulnerable and naked she had felt under his piercing gaze, with her flushed cheeks exposed to the brightness of the full moon and starry skies. He had kissed her many times over, until her lips were swollen red. Finally he had wept, burying his cheeks in her dark ebony hair as he tightened his grip on her upper torso. She couldn't move even if she tried, and she had no desire to do so at that point. They embraced for a long time afterwards, until they were both so exhausted from standing in one spot for so long that they settled down underneath the cherry blossoms. She gently ran her fingers into his long, honey-colored tresses as he rested his head on her lap. He looked up at her and reached out to move aside a stray lock that was blocking his view of her face. He drew her closer as they exchanged another kiss._

_This time it was less urgent but rather gentle and languid. He tasted the sweet smell of Kanrou Ocha on her lips that he hadn't noticed earlier._

_"Stay with me tonight," he said . It wasn't a request._

_Before she could protest he had her lips locked with his as he moved, urging her onto her back. One thing led to another and in no time she felt the front of her garment being hiked up, exposing her creamy thighs to the cool night air. She shivered and felt a rush of excitement building down in the most private areas of her body. Before long her thighs had spread, giving him access to her . They made love to each other for the first time under the sky, their bodies cloaked only by the shadow of the sakura branches. When it was over, he wept and all she could do was hold him close until he had fallen asleep in her arms._

That was her last encounter with him.

She turned to her daughter. Her child was now the only reminder of whatever they might had have in the past. Her one link to him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:**  
As always the story and characters are not mine and belong to their respective owners.

This fanfic is writen solely for my amusement and that of others.

Thanks to the reviewers who have kept me going! I originally had planned this as a one shot what if scenario from a subplot of the saiunkoku novel

but somehow it has morphed into angst fest --;

No Ryuuki in this chapter but I promise he'll make his appearance soon!

Also I hope Kouyu Fangirls will forgive me! (hides)

Special thanks to my beta (Karen)

**Chapter 3 **

By the third decade of his life, Li Kouyu had attained one of the highest positions in the Land: that of Secretary of Civil Affairs upon retirement of his adoptive father, Kou Reishin. It was a role that he had been raised to someday assume, yet he had worked hard nonetheless to make himself worthy, never taking anything for granted. Kouyu worked hard as he had always done, but lately had been spending more time at work and less time at home. Today, like most days, he was buried under a mountain of paperwork that had to be reviewed, revised or signed. Unlike most days, however, today he was not alone.

"Today will be a day just right for a walk in the royal garden, and perhaps some tea with the ladies of court... Really, anything but work," commented Ran Shuuei, who was paying his friend a visit. "Kouyu, my friend, when was the last time you had fun? Last time you got drunk or even had a good time with your Lady?"

Kouyu shot Shogun Ran Shuuei an annoyed glance, telling him the subject was off limit. "None of your business," he added for good measure.

"Well, it is my duty to keep you level headed and sane. One cannot hide behind work to escape one's problems," Shuuei continued, unfazed by his friend's predictable reaction. "Say, how about we take a trip to the Red Light district for good old time's sake? I bet Kochou-san would appreciate our visit." He chuckled, taking another sip of his tea. "She's certainly one of those who just gets better with age, much the same way as I like my wine."

"Do as you wish, but don't drag me into your filthy pass time." Kouyu shrugged him off. "Now if you will, I have work to do," he added as he busy himself with organizing the piles of documents on his desk.

"Work work...and you wonder why your wife is hardly at home these days. In fact, if I'm not mistaken she's at the Palace..."

"Visiting her father. There's nothing wrong with that," Kouyu interjected.

"Well, I guess you could see it that way, or..." Shuuei trailed off and remained quiet for a brief moment. He was briefly distracted by the dazzling weather outside. He couldn't phatom why anyone would want to be cooped up in this stuffy office when there was so much more fun things to do out there. He much preferred the old home of the Office of Civil Affair in contrast to Kouyu who had been more than eager to distant himself and his family from the imperial court.

"Speaking about the Court, things seem to be going well for my sister. She had her first audience with His Majesty and that's a record since she's been in his harem for say... seven months, and not once did he come to share her bed."

"And why should I care one way or the other what His Majesty does or does not do with your sister?" Kouyu scoffed, turning his back to his friend as he busied himself with his work.

"Just saying. Palace gossip, that's all… But then again it could turn into a serious matter. His Majesty has yet to marry or produce an heir.

"A Legitimate Male one that is..." Shuuei added .

"I've had enough of your idle gossip."

Shuuei smiled with a glint of mischief in his eyes. He enjoyed getting a rise out of his friend every now and than if for nothing else but to see him flustered and taken off guard. "Ok, fine. Lets change the topic. I'm sure you have your own problems pressing on your mind. Reishin must be most anxious for another grandchild, perhaps a male one this time around eh?"

"Shut up already! You're worse than a bunch of cackling palace maids."

"Ah, sorry. Must have hit a sore spot. But really, as your friend—and I do mean it in the most sincere way—do you not think it odd that you two sleep in separate rooms? What has it been...three years? Three years, thirty-six months ...156 weeks of lonely nights spent alone in a cold bed . Ah, it's quite tragic considering what a fine woman Shuurei-chan has become."

Kouyu was now several shades of deep red as he clenched his fist against the desk.

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" He slammed his fist onto the desk, sending a pile of papers flying around. He got up and grabbed his friend by the collar. "One more word out of your damn mouth and I swear..."

"What? I guess you do have some balls after all. Perhaps you could put them to good use in the bedroom," he smirked.

Kouyu then did something he didn't think he had in him: he swung his fist against his friend, hitting him square in the jaw.

Shuuei caught himself as he stumble backward. A trickle of blood slowly made its way down from the corner of his mouth. He smiled and slowly wiped the fresh blood. "You're ten times prettier when you are mad," he laughed.

Kouyu snarled at that last comment.

"Well, I think my job is done here." Satisfied, he made his exit, leaving Kouyu unnerved and confused.

Finally alone, Kouyu spent the remaining hours of the afternoon trying to complete his tasks, but with little success. His thoughts were a mangled mess of doubts and confusion. He thought he had done the right thing by marrying Reishin's beloved niece. He had hoped that this would bring him closer to becoming a bonifide member of the Kou clan, and perhaps getting his adoptive father to finally see him as such. He knew Reishin loved him though he would never express it openly. For Reishin, he had taken a gamble, marrying a woman who was expecting another man's child, a woman who he did not love.

Or, at least it was so in the beginning.

Kouyu had thought it would be a simple matter of marrying, breeding and taking care of her needs, that of the child and whatever other offspring that may result from their union. However, things had gotten complicated. Somewhere along the line he had grown quite fond of her; she was probably the only woman he did not find to be weak, ignorant or useless. The fact that she had brains, refiness, yet was down to earth due to her humble upbringing intrigued him. Despite her high birth rank, she lack that sense of entitlement so many nobles believed were theirs to demand. Sure she was not the most beautiful woman he had ever seen but she was the only one he would have agreed to marry. He sometimes wondered why fate had played such a cruel joke on him. The one woman he cared for put him at odds with the most powerful man in the land, his Emperor, who he had served loyally.

He was only far too relieved when the rumors at court about the emperor's impending engagement to a daughter of the Ran Clan finally materialized. It provided him with a small sense of security that Shuurei was yet again far from the emperor's grasp.

He can't remember the exact time or place when he noticed his increasing attraction to her. He couldn't even put a word to this feeling that tightened his chest whenever they were alone in his study. Regardless of whatever it was that they were working on, he had begun feeling more and more like a school boy experiencing his first crush.

Kouyu sighed. She was so close yet so far.

Lastly, he wasn't quite sure if 'love' would even be the appropriate term to describe his feelings for Shuurei, but it was the closest he could come up with. It was true that he hadn't consummated the relationship with her; he was buying himself time, waiting for her to forget Ryuukiand finally turn her heart to him. However, the longer he waited the less confident he was that things would change in his favor. He had to make a move. As much as he hated to admit it , Shuuei was right on the money.

---------------

"Ah, Shuurei, once again you've outdone yourself with these delicious Manjuu. I have to say I dearly miss your snacks, " Shouka said as he savor the home-made buns.

"I'm glad you still like them, Father," she smiled .

"So what do I owe this visit to? And I see you brought a guest with you."

"She wouldn't stay alone with the maids so I had to bring her with me."

"She's grown quite a bit since the last time I saw her hasn't she?" Shouka gestured, extending his hand to the young girl whose hands were tightly clinging to her mother's garment. "Come here and let Grandpa take a look at his little princess."

"She's quiet isn't she?" He remarked to his daughter.

"Not really, she's got quite a mouth. She tends to be shy around others though," replied Shuurei as she gently pushed the child towards her grandfather.

"Do you want to try some of these? " he asked, offering her a bean filled bun.

The little girl brightened up. Delighted with the offering, she reached out her small hands taking the bun from her grandfather. He patted her head as he lifted her up to his lap. "Here you can have all the manju you want."

The child munched contently onto the soft chewy bun. She had grown so fast like most kids do. He studied her and couldn't help but think that while she had her mother's temperament, she was almost a spitting image of the emperor. Of course, only a handful of people knew the origins of her birth, but he was afraid that as the child grew up and eventually was introduced at court, things might get cumbersome for her and her mother.

"Is everything alright, Father?" Shuurei inquired

"Ah , yes. Don't mind me. I'm just an old man and sometimes I get lost in my own idle thoughts." He smiled kindly.

"I appreciate you coming by to see me," he added.

"I've been wanting to visit and this was a good excuse to do so. Also, I had wanted to borrow that book I mentioned awhile back."

"Yes, yes. I have it on reserve." He nodded.

Shuurei smiled as she looked around the spacious library with its many books and memories from years gone by. Things didn't seem to have changed much. The collections in the archives were probably the only thing that had expanded. It was in this library she had formal lessons with Ryuuki taught ironically by the man she'd later marry. And there was that time too where Kouyu had made a sampling of dim sum and brought it to her and Eigetsu who were both novice government officials-in-training. Kouyu rarely cooked these days but when he did on special occasions, such as visits from her uncle Reishin, it was always a treat.

The rest of afternoon went by quickly and soon she had to bid her father goodbye. Tonight was Kouyu's birthday and she had planned on making him a special meal.

---------

In the end, he had given into his own curiosity to explore Shuuei's offer in hopes of it distracting him from his problems at home. He presented himself at his friend's home later that evening. They headed by horse to the colorful nightlife of the Hana Machi (redlight destrict). Shuuei was as always popular with every lady he met on his way to Kochou's brothel. He waved and blew kisses serving only to annoy Kouyu who was by then wondering why he had even gotten himself into this mess.

Upon their arrival they were greeted by Kochou who had been expecting Ran Shueei but was surprise to see he was not alone.

"Ran Shogun, I see you have a guest with you tonight. And one I must say I do know well."

Kochou was a discreet Madame, and while she knew her clientele had its fair share of married men, she was a bit skeptical about having Kouyu partake of her girls.

She smiled courteously with a glint of mischief in her eyes as she inspected the new comer.

"Now you're not going to make this a habit are you, Li Kouyu-sama? I'd hate for you to do anything that would upset my precious Shuurei-chan." She continue her closeup inspection of Li Kouyu, who had begun feeling a little tense and anxious. He was starting to wonder if this wasn't all just a bad idea to begin with.

He would hate to have word leak to Shuurei that he had been here, but then again, he thought to himself she probably wouldn't care one way or the other. She didn't care to have him share her bed, why would she care who he screwed? He blushed at the thought of doing anything of that sort, of anything other than drinking tonight.

"Nah, he's simply keeping me company and will enjoy your fine wine with me tonight," Shuuei interrupted, putting an arm over Kochou as he drew her in a close embrace. "Now my love, bring me my favorite drinks and some girls."

"I see you haven't changed one bit," she smirked as she nonchalantly shrugged his arm off her shoulder.

Kochou clapped her hands, signaling her girls to gather around. Shuuei wasted no time picking out which girls he wanted to entertain them. Kouyu simply looked at the floor feigning interest in the tapestry. He was mortified that he had come this far, but Shuuei would not let him leave without a few drinks and he was better off complying than arguing with him tonight. With girls in arms, the two were led into a private room with an abundance of drinks and other commodities to relax and party away the night.

After a few drinks, Kouyu had managed to relax enough to let his guard down so that he did not mind the fact that one of the girls had managed to get him half undressed. Soon after, he found himself slumped on a cushion seat as the girl maneuvered her moist agile tongue and mouth around him. He couldn't believe he'd agreed to this. Part of him felt dirty and disgusted that he had lowered himself to the base standards of Shuuei, but that other head of his did not seem to care much about guilt and morals. The girl was quite good. Even though he had never so much as seen a naked female, he knew almost by instinct that she was good at what she did. He stifled a moan as he clenched his teeth so tightly his jaw ached, and for the first time that night, felt all the long day's frustrations mounting to some volatile and unknown pitch concentrated below the belt. He was most certain he would die from the sheer pleasure. Finally, he came experiencing a warm pleasurable calm that took over as his seed spilled into his partner's mouth. He was too drunk, too tired, or otherwise he would had apologized for the mess he created on the girl's face .

Shuuei looked up, away from the bouncing breasts of the girl straddling his lap as he watched his friend from the corner of his eyes. He had watched, fascinated by the various expressions of pleasure on Kouyu's face which he thought were positively delicious. For a moment he couldn't help but feel immensely jealous of the girl between Kouyu's thigh as he climaxed onto her. He chuckled, amused at how easily the woman-hating highly principled Li Kouy had come undone with a simple oral action.

Suddenly without warning, Shuuei pushed the girl off his lap and signalled to the girl who had been with Kouyu to come to him . She complied without much bidding. Shuuei grabbed the girl by her hair, bringing her close for a long wet kiss. He thrust his tongue into her mouth as he massage her tongue, tasting the sweet tangy lingering taste of Kouyu's seed. He had envy the way her mouth moved up against Kouyu's shaft wishing he was the one taking the dazed Secretary of Civil Affairs to his first orgasm .

The night was young and Ran had insisted Kouyu get the full treatment, which meant bedding one of these random girls. Kouyu scoffed at the idea. No matter how pretty they were, he didn't have any inclination of wanting to go further than a blow job. There was only one person that he wanted to share that act with at this very moment. That desire was so intense and strong that he was sure he'd go insane if he didn't somehow ...

-------------

Shuurei sat down alone at a table arranged for two. She stared at the full course meals she had put so much effort into preparing that evening.

She had forbidden the maids from intruding on her territory in the kitchen on this one occasion. It was something she wanted to do without assistance from others. She had always been a good cook and was glad that Kouyu and others had appreciated this fact over the years. Long before their marriage and during the year prior to her post as Sai Province governer, Kouyu and Shuuei made it almost a weekly ritual to come to her father's place, bringing various fresh produce from the market for her to prepare as a meal.

She looked towards the empty entrance of the dinning hall for the hundredth time, then back to the finely decorated dinner table with a mouth-watering display of various culinary delights representative of each province of Saiunkoku.

The hour went by and still no sign of her Kouyu.

Dinner had gone cold but she waited, hoping he would come. Kouyu didn't show up, even when the moon had made it way high up in the sky. Finally, she rose from her seat and left to retire to her bedchamber. She couldn't help but wonder if he had just forgotten, or perhaps he gotten carried over by work.

Sometime in the dead of the night she heard a urgent knock which startled her from her sleep.

It was one of her maids.

"Shuurei-dono, Li Kouyu-sama is on his way here, " whispered her maid from behind closed doors.

"HE IS?!" she gasped kicking the cover off the bed.

"Yes ma'am . I'll be going now."

She nodded, dismissing the maid. She was relieved to finally get word of him, but at the same time, she couldn't help the sudden urge of anger that came upon her at his total disregard

to her dinner invitation.

"Ok calm down, there has to be a damn good reason why he didn't show up", she assured herself. She quickly fixed her robe and brush her hair to look somewhat presentable. The sounds of steps approaching her room alerted her that he was near.

"Shuurei, I'm coming in," a familiar voice behind the door announced.

"You're late..." she remarked as he clumsily made his way into her room.

He stumbled in to the dim room. He seemed unsteady on his feet. She lit a new candle providing much needed light. Suddenly the angry look on her face turned into that of concern.

"Are you ok?" She rushed to his side to steady him.

"Yes...I am. I just have the most horrible headache," he said haltingly as he brought one hand to his forehead.

"Come on, have a seat," she said helping him onto the bed. "I will fix you some tea. I think I still have some of that herbal tea Dr. Sou recommended as an analgesic," she said as she attempted to get up. However, before she could get up he had grasped her arm.

"No, stay...I'll be alright soon," he said slowly. His speech seemed off, Shuurei thought to herself.

He fell back onto her bed exhausted. He momentarily closed his eyes as if asleep. "Your bed is so much more comfortable than mine," he commented.

"Well if you want, we can trade for tonight," she commented dryly. She was not amuse at this point. She could clearly smell alcohol on him. He was drunk and most likely the reason he had forgotten about the dinner.

"Ah, that would be nice but you know what would be even better...:?"

"What?" she asked.

He give her a crooked smile as he stared at her through glazed eyes. "You know, I don't get to see you much with your hair down like this. It suits you." He caressed her raven locks.

She blushed slightly as he rarely commented on the way she looked, though she had caught him on a few occasions staring at her in a peculiar manner unknown to him.

"You smell good, too," he continued as he drew closer to inhale the gentle jasmine scent lingering on her hair.

"And you reek of alcohol. What gotten into you? You don't drink!" she chastised.

Ignoring the stern look on her face he pulled her close, causing her to fall into his arms as they collapsed onto the bed.

"Your skin is so soft and warm," he whispered against the tips of her ears as he held her in his embrace.

"Kouyu...You're drunk!" He responded with a kiss on her lips. At first, she was surprised by the suddenness of his lips onto hers but soon began to protest as she made a weak attempt to push herself off him.

He continue as he rolled them over so that he was now on top of her giving her little room to escape. He held her arms still as he pressed his lips against hers followed by his tongue sliding past her lips.

"So soft and moist," he moaned nipping her lips as he continue his assault on them.

She put on a some resistance at first, but soon he was able to coax her into opening her mouth to his. Shuurei felt flushed and delirious, overpowered by his feverish and unrelenting caresses and kisses. He tore his lips from hers momentarily to lavish them on other parts of her body starting with her ample bosoms. Motherhood had been quite generous with her much to his surprise. He groan as he kissed her through the frail cloth of her night garment. He sucked at them and enjoyed the small squeaks she made each time he pulled her nipples back into his mouth. He felt a delirious tremor through every fiber of his body matching her quavering frame beneath him.

Soon he was tugging at her clothes, uncovering more of her skin in a frantic pace as if afraid he'd snap out of his uninhibited state. Shuurei was almost too scared to look him in the face, afraid of what she would see in those eyes at a moment such as this. She had ceased resisting him allowing him to continue his exploration of her body as she stared up at the ceiling.

He grabbed her cheeks forcing her to look at him as he pushed her garment up against her waist. "What is it? Does the idea of making love to your husband disgust you that much?" he questioned bitterly.

"You call this making love? I don't even recognize you any more. "

He squeezed her breasts roughly and smirked as she winced.

"You're hurting me." She protested as tears threatened to fall from her brown eyes.

"Am I? I'll be gentler then." The features on his face seemed to soften just a bit as he spoke those words. He ran a finger over her cheek and kissed her, pushing her lips apart with his tongue. He broke the kiss and whispered in her ears, " I can't stand sharing you with anyone, not even his majesty."

Her eyes widened. She could feel her heart pounding against her chest. Is this what this was all about? "Kouyu..." she began.

He shut her up with another kiss before she could utter anything else. He did not want to hear, did not want to feel pity or whatever other meek feelings she may bring out of him. Tonight he just wanted to feel her softness and warmth. He wanted to fuck her until she cried his name.

He slid his trembling hand down her legs and felt that place Shuuei had always alluded to when discussing his countless sexual conquests. He shut, his eyes savoring the sweet warm wetness that was between her thighs. He felt his breath catch in his throat as he realized he couldn't restrain himself any longer. Pushing her legs apart and maneuvering himself free of his own bothersome pants, he thrust home. She grimaced a little as she felt him push suddenly into her.

She wasn't sure how long it had been from the time he had entered her to the moment he had climax but when it was all said and done she was too tired and confused to care anymore. He rose up from the bed gathering his clothing and quickly redressed himself.

Without a word he left the room.

Shuurei felt a cold shiver take over as she rolled onto her side hugging the sheets tightly against her naked frame.


	4. Chapter 4

**Terminlogy: **Okaa-chama (childish or cutesy way of saying mother)

Sakura -cherry blossom

Oji-chama (uncle)

**Chapter 4 **

Kouyu had spent the morning in his private study, sitting in the chair he had fallen asleep in the night before. His headache was gone, but he had a terrible hangover. However, this was the least of his problems. As his mind slowly cleared itself of the subduing effect of alcohol, the event of the night before began to slowly fall into place, giving room for unrest and agonizing guilt to settle in. He wasn't sure how he'd face the day, work or _her_. He had been totally out of his mind, and in a sense, he wondered how much control he had over his body as he took her trembling body for the first time. Thinking of it still sent chills down his spine but at the same time he had a sickening feeling in his stomach that caused him to break out in cold sweats. He was guilty of taking her by force, though she didn't seem to protest much after he had her trapped beneath him. It could be said he only took what was rightfully his to take. She was his wife and by the law of the land she was his property, though thinking about her as such did nothing to calm the uneasiness in his stomach.

There it was again, that sudden wave of nausea and sickening taste of bile settling in his throat. He got up hurriedly, reaching for the closest window. In no time he was bent over the window sill, retching the contents of his stomach. He had always had a low tolerance for alcohol and could not phantom why he decided to celebrate his birthday with that oaf, that imbecile of Shuuei, in a damn brothel.

He wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his coat and cursed Shuuei and his brilliant suggestions. He was partly to blame for his drunkenness. Kouyu shook his head. No, he thought to himself, Shuuei was not the one who force him in her bedroom or took advantage of her. He was a miserable fool.

A knock at his studio startled him.

"Sir, will you be joining the mistress for breakfast?" the servant inquired.

"No, I'm fine," he replied

"As you wish,sir."

"Shaolin-san, is she alright?" he asked with concern.

"I am not sure. Her curtains are still drawn, which is unusual for her at this hour," she replied.

"I see."

"If there's nothing else, I shall be going."

"Thank you," he added with a nod, dismissing her. He sat back at his desk in total dismay. Leaning back into his chair he looked up towards the ceiling sighing.

"What have I done?" he asked himself. "Of all the blunders I've committed, this is the worse. "

Thoughts of this reaching Reishin ears only served to heightened his anxiety. He could only imagine what Shouka would do to him for this. Then again, whatever punishment Reishin or Shouka could think of would be deserving. He was ashamed of himself. He had done it partly out of frustration and partly because he wanted her so much, he thought he would die if he didn't satisfy his yearnings right then and there. Like the saying says, you reap what you sow.

His mind was flooded with memories of his conversation with his adoptive father the day of their wedding. Reishin was, as usual, formal in his manners and speech.

_"As I've told you before, I hold you accountable for her happiness. Understood?" _

_He lifted his son's chin up high with his fan so that their eyes met each other. From his voice and the look in his eyes, Kouyu knew it wasn't a question but rather a command. As selfish and thoughtless it had been on Reishin's part to impose such a burden on him, Kouyu could not refuse him anything, even if it meant undertaking the impossible. _

_He nodded, "Yes, Reishin-sama." _

_"You should get in a habit of calling me father. How many times do I have to say it?" He asked, tapping his fan against his palm. "We are family." _

_Kouyu wondered when his adopted father started viewing him as family: When he welcomed him into his home for the first time? When he graduated first in his class of young government officials? When he rose to one of the highest ranks in the land? _

_ Or only now that he was marrying his blood niece? _

He had done his best never to anger or disappoint Reishin. In fact his only goal since he took him in his home had been to serve and repay the man who rescued him from a life of poverty and hopelessness. He would have died for Reishin.

Reishin's love for his niece was unparalleled, sometimes bordering on obsession; and yes, there had been times that he had been jealous of Shuurei, but those were days gone by. Although, there was a small part of him that wondered how much of his aggression towards her had been from repressed envy… Perhaps more so than facing any possible physical torture at the hands of Kou Reishin, he was terrified of the disappointment and pain that he would bring upon his beloved father because of his act of selfishness. There was also the matter of finding some means, if any existed, to receive forgiveness from Shuurei . He would have to face her sooner, rather than later.

---------

Shuurei stared into the mirror, the same one she had sat before as a new bride, the same one she had stared at over the months as she watched her belly swell with her precious daughter. She barely recognized the woman staring back at her. There were fine lines on her soft features that hadn't been there a few years back. She was still in the prime of her life, yet she felt tired and used. She had allowed herself to become a pawn in a loveless marriage orchestrated by her uncles. It was the one thing she had fought for years to evade and here she was, trapped. At the same time, she realized that she had been unjust and selfish and was paying the price.

She remembered the simple days when it was just she, Father and Seiran: her world was complete. She remembered how simple it was back than when her father was her number one most important person and Seiran her number two. She didn't need anyone else. Didn't _want_ anyone else to complicate life more than necessary. Then came the opportunity of a life time to bring about change and make a handsome living at it. This ultimately lead her on the path of a complicated relationship with the Emperor that blossomed into her own bittersweet downfall. She sometimes wonder if she might not have been happier never meeting him or falling in love after years of relentless courtship. Perhaps she would have been a much more receptive partner to Kouyu had her heart not belong to another man.

She nervously bit her lips causing them to change from a soft pale pink to deep red.

She wanted to hate Kouyu for what he had done but couldn't. It wasn't in her nature. She had forgiven far worse in others; memories of a certain red-headed handsome man who had left an indelible impression in her heart came to mind.

She sighed. She had not realized that her lack of attention to her wifely duties had caused him harm. She had failed to even realize his feelings for her were more than platonic. Some things never change. She had always been clueless in the matter of the heart but this time it may cause lives to be irreparably damaged. Her dad had once said that there's nothing worse than having your beloved say 'lets just be friends' and that's essentially what she had expected from the marriage. He had been a good father to a child that wasn't his and she had thought it enough to stand by his side supporting him, but denying him his basic rights as a husband. Like the Rose Princess, she had grown and retained thorns to protect herself.

------

His opportunity to speak to her finally came on one of the rare occasions when their paths crossed since that day. Kouyu was up taking a morning walk in their garden which had started to bloom with plum trees. She was on her way back to her room, or perhaps to awaken their daughter for the upcoming day.

He felt his heart pound heavily against his chest and suddenly he felt warm, with sweat trickling down his forehead. As she approach, he couldn't help but notice that she looked tired yet beautiful. He had missed her company over the past several weeks though she had all rights to shun him now.

She walked by him without a word but he was quick on the catch and grabbed her hand, but the scared look in her eyes caused his heart to sink and he let go.

"We can't go on like this," he began. "I will take anything—insults, anger—but don't give me the silent treatment."

She looked away refusing to acknowledge him with eye contact.

"Shuurei..."

"You never apologized!" She snapped .

"You wouldn't give me the chance!"

"What's your excuse then?" she said recomposing herself.

He fell silence. He had recited a million times over in his mind what he'd say to her and here was the moment and words failed him.

"There's no excuse for what I did. A thousands apologies will likely never erase the hurt I've caused you. Sorry probably isn't enough"

"You need not worry of me running to the arms of my father or uncle about this," she said.

"You don't have to be nice to me. What I did was inexcusable and I'll take whatever punishment they wish to lay on me. I only ask...if there's any room in you heart ...for you to forgive me," he said gently grasping her hands into his.

She subconsciously pulled them as if scorched by fire. She held them close against her chest as if nursing a wounded hand.

"I said I won't say a world. That should be enough," she replied desperately, trying to keep her voice from cracking. She wasn't ready to forgive him just yet. A part of her was even afraid of the intensity that she saw in his eyes. It was that same intensity she had seen in Ryuuki's eyes during the beginning of his courtship. She wasn't ready to tread those waters with another man. Her heart would always belong to one person only.

"I rather you hate me than have no feelings at all towards me..." he stated with sorrow and regret in his voice. "If I can bring about any feelings at all in your heart, even if it be that of hate….I would feel less insignificant."

She turned away.

"Shuurei ...you and Murasaki Hime are the two most important people in my life."

"Please enough . . ." she begged.

"Well, I shall excuse myself." He turned around and started for the main quarters.

He paused momentarily. He turned looking back at her tiny shoulders.

"I never apologized for missing dinner that night...I'm sorry I missed out on your exquisite cooking." With that he left heading in the opposite direction.

She finally broke, falling onto the floor as tears she had fought back finally flowed freely. She had wanted to say much more, but she only had lingering questions and hurtful feelings that would do neither good. She couldn't help but wonder why he had agreed to marry her. She had not questioned his motives before but sometimes she wonder if he didn't do it simply to please her uncle.

----

Shuurei dealt with her problems the best way she knew: submerging herself in her work as Head Accountant of the Department of Finance. It meant more hours away from home, and being close to court. While she worked, Muraki Hime spent the time keeping her grandfather company, something that Shouka had come to cherish. He loved having his granddaughter around and his daughter so close, but something was off. He could sense it in the way she seemed so withdrawn, and the fervor with which she had submerged herself once again in her work. When asked about things at home or Kouyu, she changed the subject or flat out evaded the questions. However, Shouka was patient and knew when the time was right she's open her heart to him.

When she had a chance to break from her duties at the Treasury, she would sneak out to play with her daughter in the garden adjacent to the library. Those were the few times she could relax and forget about her problems. Her daughter was growing so fast; the thought that someday she'd grow up and leave her sadden her, but for now she wanted to cherish every chance she had while she was still her little girl.

"Okaa-chama, it's your turn to put the fold on!" The little girl held out the white cloth excited that she would get to play her most favorite game with her mother.

"Ok, ok. My turn it is," she laughed putting on the blind fold.

"...Three, Two, One, Zero! Ok, I'm coming for you!" she announced, turning her back and reaching her out stretched hand feeling around and listening for the rustling of her daughter's skirt or the pit-a-pat of her small feet against the moist green of the garden's ground.

Suddenly, there was a gust of wind and she could smell the sakura petals as they were swept away in its current. She heard rustling of garments and knew her target was close.

"I got you!" she smiled, feeling the silk robe that suddenly seemed to never end. She knew the texture of the garment she dressed her girl in this morning, and this was certainly different and by the length of it belonged to an adult.

"Shu..urei..." That voice unmistakable voice... She undid the fold and there she was staring at the Emperor. She slowly loosened her grip from the hem of his royal robe. Her face had turned pale as if she had just seen a ghost. She thought her heart would stop and suddenly she found it difficult to breathe.

"Shuurei, it's you?" He did little to hide the delight in his voice at seeing her after such a long time.

Without hesitation or thoughts to his action, he instinctively reached out drawing her in a desperate, crushing embrace, holding on to her as if afraid she'd disappear in a cloud of smoke. Ryuuki could feel his pulse racing and wondered if her heart, too, was going anywhere as fast as his. He buried his head in the crook of her neck, inhaling the comforting scent of her warm skin. This was like his dreams—no, even better because he could hold her, feel her warmth against him once more. Gods, he thought about how desperately he had wished to be able to hold her like this again .

"Shuurei, Shuurei...Shuurei," he repeated desperately like a sacred mantra, all the while keeping her in his crushing embrace.

Had her hair been kept loose and free from the ornamental decoration of her head dress, he would have buried his face into it like he had done so many times in the past. He, however, contended himself with savoring the comforting smell of her skin, crisp and soothing like that of a fresh spring morning.

"Shuurei..." his voice trembled with years of desperate longing.

She thought of saying something but the words could not form on her lips.

Ryuuki still could not believe he was holding her in his arms. Almost as though to assure himself that she was real, and not a figment of his imagination, his gentle fingertips glided their way up her throat, moving along her jaw line and finally resting on her chin. She was now face to face with him as he held her chin up. Their gaze locked upon each other with lips now a mere inch away. She couldn't help but notice how much more handsome he had grown, yet had managed to somehow retain his delicate and regal features.

For a moment, time seemed to stop, and for the first time in weeks, she felt alive. She finally relaxed into his arms, momentarily resting her head against his chest, listening to the thumping in his chest. Her arms, on their own volition, moved up as if to return the embrace but at the last second she decided against it, gently pushing him back.

"Ryuuki..." the words finally formed on her trembling lips. At that moment, his chest swelled with joy at the sweet sound of his name falling from her lips.

"I've missed you so very much. Words could - _would_ never be enough to express how much I've wished to see you and hold you in my arms again. Every day spent away from you has been agonizing and lonely," he said grasping her hand, afraid she'd run away before he had his chance to tell her all that he had wanted to say over the years.

"Please, don't. "

"No, I must. I've held this inside far longer than I could bear."

She couldn't stand to face him any longer. Did he think he was the only one that had suffered for this?

"Please don't look away." He pleaded, pulling her chin up with a firm but gentle hand. She had grown more beautiful than he thought possible. Her eyes were still gentle towards him.

"You haven't changed. I'm glad." He smiled, stepping forward closing the gap between them. Her slightly parted lips were right there, begging to be kissed. He could tell in her eyes which betrayed her.

'So close,' he thought, as he drew her towards him until their face were a mere inch away. Their lips had barely brushed each other when the rustling of nearby bushes caused them to draw away from each other. Both blushed like two kids caught red-handed, doing something they weren't supposed to do.

"Okaa-chama! Time's up! I won, didn't I?" her daughter squealed gleefully, rushing towards her.

"Oh, is that were you were hiding?" she knelt down, arms wide open to received her daughter, the distraction both welcome and frustrating.

The little girl ran into her mother's outstretched arms. "I get to eat manjuu because I won, ne Okaa-chama?"

"Yes, you do. Dinner tonight will be Murasaki Hime's special!" she said holding her daughter up in her arms.

"Murasaki...Hime?" He repeated back.

Shuurei turned her attention back to the man in front of her.

"Ryuuki, this is my daughter."

He nodded. "How old are you?"

She looked at her mother and her mother nodded, letting her know it would be ok to talk to the strange man with the weird head-dress and clothing.

"Three...but I am almost four!"

Ryuuki smiled. "Murasaki Hime, that's a beautiful name. Are mommy's manjuu yummy?"

"They are the best!" she declared kissing her mother's flushed cheek.

"I agree. "

"Would you like some, Oji-chama?"

"That would be nice."

"Okaa-chama, can this Oji-chama come over for dinner ?" she inquired innocently.

Shuurei laughed nervously. "Well, I'm not sure. He might have other plans." She looked at Ryuuki anxiously.

"Maybe we could have some manjuu here another day?" He proposed.

"Yes! It's a promise." She declared extending her pinkie. Ryuuki reached out and they formed a pact over her mother's manjuu.

"We should get going." Shuurei announced. "Ryuuki, take care."

With that she left carrying her child back towards the library. She felt uneasy and hoped that he did not suspect the truth. She instinctively held on tightly to her little girl.

"Okaa-chama, are you ok?" she inquired with a puzzled look on her face.

"Yes... Everything is ok, sweetie," she reasured her.

Ryuuki was left alone standing underneath the Sakura tree that had become an important symbol in his life. The same sakura tree under which he had first met Shouka as he took refuge from his cruel older brothers' constant taunting, and the one where he first met the woman he'd come to love more than life itself. He couldn't help but think that this meeting with her was as sweet and nostalgic as their first meeting. For a brief moment, his memories took him back to that day when he had first laid eyes upon her. He was alone, out taking an early morning stroll in the palace garden when he stopped, noticing a young girl jumping beneath the sakura tree with her tiny hands outstretch towards a low hanging branch. He had been amused by her persistence despite the repeated failed attempts to reach the branch. He had finally resolved to step in and help her after watching her for a short while. Perhaps his curiosity to see the face of the determined maiden was also a decisive factor.

Effortlessly he had reached up, breaking the sakura branch with his strong grip and presented it to the young girl. She had looked at him bewildered, with an intensity no one had ever directed to him that he felt his breath taken away from him at that moment. She was not a classic beauty, nor beautiful in the traditional sense as he would have expected of a maiden belonging to the royal harem, but those intense dark brown eyes were more captivating than any beauty he had seen in his young life.

She was the forbidden dream that he was never meant to see. It was love at first sight.

A gust of chilly spring breeze was enough to bring him back to the present. He felt overwhelmed as he drew in a long breath. He was neither stupid or blind. The child could not possibly be Li Kouyu's offspring. The child's age, her honey colored hair , and lastly the name that was chosen all betrayed the identity of her parentage. Yet, what could he do? She had not told him that she was expecting his child before marrying another man. Did she know before the fact? Had her meddling uncles persuaded her to keep it secret from him in their effort to push their own wedding agendas?

He bit his lip. He had to see her again.


	5. Chapter 5

**chap 5**

"Here." Shuuei offered his friend a cup of tea. Kouyu momentarily raised his head from the desk and looked at the cup with disdain.

"I made it myself you know." Shuuei smiled.

"Don't want it." He replied coldly before putting his head down on the desk once again.

Shuuei placed the cup of warm herbal tea quietly next to his friend and frowned. He looked around Kouyu's office with its many books and crowded desk, making it look more like the prison it had become for his friend.

He then turned his gaze back to Kouyu with concern etched on his face. He wished he could get him to open up to him. He had become so in tuned with Kouyu's sensitivities over the years that he knew when something was bothering him. It was evident in his friend's appearance and increasing withdrawal and moodiness. The dark circles under Kouyu's eyes didn't go unnoticed either. 'A pity,' he thought as it marred his beautiful features and accentuated the void that was now present in his friend's dark grey eyes.

"Why are you here?" Kouyu asked bluntly, still refusing to make eye contact.

"Because I am your friend. Because I care about you. Because you need someone to vent to."

"I ...I don't want anything from you."

"Hmph. Stubborn as usual. Regardless, I'm not budging," Shuuei said pulling a chair next to him to sit on. He made himself comfortable and took a sip from his own cup of tea.

"Did something happened between you and Shuurei?" he inquired.

"None of your damn business!" he replied annoyed. 

Shuuei shrugged and took another sip of tea, unfazed by his friend's obvious annoyance. "Even now I don't understand why you went ahead with Kurou's plans. You, of all people, who have sworn off women."

"Man! You're one stubborn blockhead, aren't you? I suppose you won't shut up, so fine!" Kouyu said sitting up with a exacerbated look on his face. As much as he hated to spill his guts to anyone, he needed a shoulder to lean on. He grudgingly admitted to himself that Shuuei was the closest thing he had to a friend.

"I was flattered by his high regards towards me," he responded. " Shuuei, you can't understand what it means for someone like me to be fully accepted."

"I don't pretend to know, hence the reason I want to hear it from you."

"My life changed based on one man's whim to take in a poor, street orphaned urchin," Kouyu continue with a twinge of bitterness.  
He often felt helpless over his lack of control over his life and fate; and over Reishin's power over him, which he wielded so casually despite his efforts in the past to distance Kouyu from any obligations to the Kou clan. All he ever wanted was to repay Reishin and make him happy. His wish became such a part of him, one that he obviously haven't completely gotten over nor overcome the ramifications of. To this day it still haunts him, in the form of his marriage to Shuurei.

" I remember my first night at the Kou mansion fondly. It was the first time I had a real meal in a long time. Reishin-sama laughed, amused by my voracious appetite and warned me to slow down or I'd choke. He then added he'd hate to see his investment go to waste so fast in front of his eyes."

"He was always reserved and spare me little physical affection. My upbringing was undertaken by Yurihime. She is exceptional in that she's probably the only woman who could tolerate Reishin-sama. I, too, came to appreciate him for what he was. He took me off the streets, put a roof over my head, clothes on my back, and give me an education to make something of myself. Over time I came to love him dearly."

Shuuei nodded with his attention focused on his friends words.

"When Kurou-ojisama presented the marriage proposition, I was taken totally by surprise. I was honored and flattered that he wanted me to take over the Clan Leadership." He paused briefly to clear his throat that had started to dry up, causing an uncomfortable raw feeling. He was sure he was coming down with something but pushed the thought aside for the moment.

"However, being flattered doesn't equate to liking the idea. I was torn, knowing that His Majesty loved Shuurei and that she was in a sense his, but I had to consider my priorities. It didn't help that Reishin-sama's antics behind the scene forced my hands. Not long after that, I made my presence at court increasingly scarce, finally culminating in my returning the purple iris to His Majesty.

"In the end, I chose family over him.

"I suppose, we are similar in that regards. No doubt tying the Emperor's hand by sending your sister to him was a strategic move on your brothers' part, which ultimately will benefit the your clan." Kouyu continued.

Shuuei nodded, but had no intention of diverting the discussion to the machinations of his older brothers and the Ran Clan's political ambitions. "Your love for Reishin and your desire to be fully accepted as a member of the Kou Clan surpassed even your hatred and allergy for women?"

"Shuurei isn't just any woman," he said sharply.

"Yes indeed. She's quite something. I mean, she cured you of your allergies of women (after all)."

"Far from it. I still hate women as much as I did back then."

Shuuei smiled, remembering how close Kouyu was to committing murder after being swamped with endless marriage proposals once word had spread of his top rank in their class of young government officials. There wasn't a noble family in town that didn't want their daughter married to him. At one point, Kouyu came to him begging for help which had amused Shuuei. He didn't mind diverting the young women's attention away from his friend, but also a part of him hated the idea that anyone else could have a chance at Kouyu other than himself.

"You know what Reishin-sama told me when I asked him: 'And love?'"

"Un what?" Shuuei inquired, refocusing his attention on Kouyu.

"'Love? What about it?' he had repeated back to me. Then he simply hit me on the head with that stupid fan of his and said there's much more joy and stability to come out of a marriage based on friendship than something as frivolous as love." Kouyu imitated in his best Reishin voice.

"So like him, isn't it?" Shuuei commented.

"I think he was wrong. I can't remember a single day that I've managed to make her smile. I have probably caused her more pain and hurt than anyone else."

"You're being hard on yourself." Shuuei said sympathetically as he lay a gentle hand on his friend's head.

"I did something vile and unforgivable," he said almost chokingly as he rested his flushed cheeks against the table. He had cried only once before in front of Shuuei and that was many years ago. He had not intended to be so open to anyone but somehow he always felt like he could be himself and just let go in front of him.

At that moment Shuuei wanted to hold him in his arms and wipe his tears, letting him know that even if the world had turn its back on him, he would always be there. But instead, he contented himself by simply placing his hands over his friend's pale hands which were resting on the table. He was surprised by how warm he felt.

"Kouyu, you're burning up. Sit up let me feel your forehead." He commanded, with urgency evident in his voice.

"It's nothing. It's just a cold that will pass," he shrugged, as Shuuei confirmed his fear with a light touch of his palm against his friend's fiery skin.

"Get up! I'm taking you home. You are sick and need to rest." Shuuei got up pulling his friend to stand, but realized Kouyu could barely hold his own without leaning forward on the desk. 

"This isn't good. Hold on a second." He hoisted his friend's arm onto his shoulder. "Here hold onto me."

"No, I said...I said I'm just fine," he protested .

"Hey, I said you're going home. Either you hold onto me or I'll be force to carry you in my arms," Shuuei warned.

"Do that and I'll kill you." He said coolly but his strength was quickly fading as he found himself leaning onto Shuuei for support.

They made their way outside his office and, after hailing a carriage, headed promptly to the Kou's residence. During the entire ride, Shuuei kept his friend close by as he dozed quietly against his steady shoulder. He looked so vulnerable and quite pitiful. Without thinking he gently brushed a stray strand of hair from his friend's damped forehead. He couldn't help but think he looked ravishing in his currently weakened state. Deep down he wanted to command the coach to take them to his home where he would personally attend to him. He sighed leaning close to his friend taking in his subtle scent; he smelled like plum blossom. Kouyu's slightly parted lips were so close. For a moment, the thought of kissing him became his sole focus… And he would have, had Kouyu not stirred in his sleep, softly murmuring Shuurei's name. Shuuei sighed, leaning back in the seat .

'This is hopeless,' he thought.

---------------

"Aah! Ouch!" Shuurei exclaimed as she watched yet another embroidery project was ruined by blood stain from the needle prick .

"Oh dear. You've been quite distracted as of late." Shusui said rummaging through a draw for antiseptic and cotton.

"Here, let me take a look." She took and inspected Shuurei's hand and cleaned the tip of her step-daughter's finger. The stingy effect of the antiseptic was enough to make  
Shuurei wince. 

"So, what's going on in that head of yours? It's not like you to be so clumsy with your handy work."

Shuurei had a woe be gone look on her face, saying that this was serious. Shusui leaned forward in her chair, indicating she was opened to hearing whatever it was that was troubling her.

"So?" she prodded. "You know you can tell me anything."

Shuurei closed her eyes and sighed heavily.

"I met him the other day under the Sakura tree, where we first met over a decade ago... After such a long time, I thought the pain and memories would fade with time and distance. But I was wrong."

"Him? You mean..."

"Yes, His Majesty. I felt my heart leap in my chest when I saw him. It took every ounce of strength I had to hold back from losing myself in that warm embrace… But now more than ever there's no going back. Even if there had been one small chance of it...

"Shusui...I think I may be pregnant," she finally said.

"Pregnant?!"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm not one-hundred percent sure, but I am late," she replied.

"Kouyu's ?" Shusui asked suspiciously, realizing too late that it came off awkward.

She nodded silently disregarding her friend's lack of tact. She couldn't fault her given her past history.

"Well, I guess I should congratulate?"

Shuurei remained silent with her eyes downcast, staring at the blood stained pattern she had been working on. The solemn expression on her face said otherwise. She couldn't tell her that the pregnancy was a result of a rape by the hands of her drunken husband. Nor did she wish to raise another child in her current situation.

"Have you told Kouyu?" Shusui inquired, redirecting the conversation.

"No. To be honest, things are quite strained between us right now."

"Because of his Majesty?"

"No...and yes. I don't mean to be rude, but there are some things that are so personal that they are best kept to oneself.'

Shusui nodded sympathetically not wanting to press the issue more than Shuurei would feel comfortable handling.

"How far along are you?"

"Five, six weeks maybe."

"Have you seen a doctor yet? You should pay more attention to your health, now more so than ever," she said holding her hands gently in hers. "This might be just what you two need, to bring you closer together. Another child, perhaps a son, will be a great thing for you two." Shusui said.

"Shusui, I think I made the biggest mistake of my life. I…I can't. I-I just can't keep this charade up any more," she said, fighting back tears.

"Shuurei..." She hugged her allowing her to cry on her chest.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be acting like this." She gently pushed herself away from Shusui trying to regain her composure. "I made this bed and now I must lie in it," she ended.

Shusui had many things she would had liked to say including 'You're better off forgetting the past', or 'He's engaged to another woman now.' All things she was sure Shuurei probably knew. There was no need to complicate her life by rehashing the past.  
--------

The sky had turned a solemn orange-red hue as evening approached. It almost didn't seem like spring anymore. Shusui had left an hour earlier after having spent most of the day providing Shuurei with company that she desperately needed. Soon after her friend had left, Shuurei had planned on retiring to her room early as she was tired and had a lot on her mind. Sleep would have been much welcomed relief. Alas, that was not to be. Shortly after she had gotten into her night robe, she heard a hard insistent knocking on her door. It was her servant girl, Shoalin, who sounded frantic.

"What is it, Shoalin?" Shuurei asked opening the door. She dreaded the thought of any more bad news.

"Madam, Sir is in the main room. Please hurry! He's not too well," she panted out in one breath.

"Okay, calm down. I'm coming. Please keep Murasaki in her room for the time being," she bade her servant as she made her way to main room of the house.

Shuuei had just finished wiping Kouyu's sweat drenched forehead with a cloth when she came in. She found herself out of breath with her heart pounding in her chest. There were lines of worry evident on her tired face.

"Shuuei-san...?"

"He has a high fever, " Shuuei said plainly rising up from his crouched position.

"Please take care of him." He said laying a gentle hand on her shoulder. Shuurei nodded and silently thanked him for bringing him home.

"I'll find a doctor and have him sent promptly," he added before leaving.

Shuurei wasted no time in getting Kouyu in his bed with assistance from her servants. She had ordered for clean towels and ice-cold water to be brought in his room.

After dismissing the servants she took it upon herself to undress him of his clothing which had started to cling to his skin from the sweat. His entire skin felt hot. Kouyu was restless, turning in his sleep but never quite awake enough. She worried that he was in pain but he was so lethargic, she couldn't get an intelligible answer from his mumbling. She did her best to clean him and cool his body with the cold water. It seem to work for the time being, but he still needed constant supervision and cooling with the cloth. Fortunately, Dr. Sou had arrived not too long after Shuuei left. 

After examining Kouyu, Dr. Sou spoke at length with Shuurei and gave her instructions. "It is important that you control his fever. Ice soaks are fine. When he's awake, give him this, too." He handed her a small bottle.

Shuurei nodded and thanked him for his troubles. 

"No need to thank me. Your uncle would have my head on a stick if I didn't take good care of his family." The old man chuckled.

Shuurei give a nervous smile with a bead of sweat forming on her face; knowing her uncle he'd probably make good on such threats.

"Now, don't over do it. You have to take care of yourself too." The old doctor added as he gathered his medical equipment in his bag before leaving.  
-------------

Shuurei had sat quietly by Kouyu's side, watching over him as he seemed to rest somewhat peacefully in his bed. She watched him for a long time with hands clasped, as the gentle flickering light of the candles in the room illuminated his delicate, frail features. 

'He seems so vulnerable,' she thought to herself. She didn't even think she would be able to get this close to him again after that night, but thoughts of her anger and fears seem to dissipate as her concerns focus on getting him better.

After awhile, she decided to leave momentarily to check on Murasaki-hime. She was surprised to find Reishin sitting on the floor with the child. He was teaching Murasaki how to make new origami models. It was something Kouyu had gotten her into and she just couldn't get enough of it. Shuurei stood quietly at the doorway for a while watching the two create and play with the intricate patterns of birds, flowers, other shapes. Subconsciously her hands slid to rest on her flat belly, thinking of the new life that might be growing in her. She only hoped that she didn't have tell tale signs on her face as her uncle was quite a perceptive men with nothing ever escaping his notice. Finally she cleared her throat, getting their attention.

"Well young lady, it's well passed your bed time. Come on, lets get you ready for bed."

"But Okaa-san, Otou-san promised me a bed time story."

"Otou-san needs rest. Go make your bed and change your clothes and I'll come by later and tuck you in okay?"

"Is Otou-san going to be ok?" the little girl asked with that innocent concern that was typical of a child.

"I think so. Mommy will take good care of him. There's also the doctor and Reishin-Ojiisama to help out," she said looking at Reishin with gratitude for his continuing support when she needed it most. However, she couldn't help but wonder how he got hold of the news so fast.

"Why can't I help out too? I want to help," she told them.

"Because it's passed your bed time and..." Shuurei had a frustrated and tired expression on her face, enough so to prompt Reishin to rescue his niece from her inquisitive daughter's endless questioning.

"Okay, time for bed. Grandpa will tell you a bed time story, and I promise it will be as good if not better than anything your father ever told you. After all, whatever story he tells you he probably learned it from me," he said playfully, picking her up from the floor and holding her in his arm. "Sounds good, princess?" he asked.

"Yes, but I want to hear my most favorite story." She pouted giving him that puppy dog expression that made him melt each time.

"And what would that be?" He inquired.

"Barahime of course!" She exclaimed gleeful.

Reishin frowned and scratched his head with his free hand. He had heard the story once or twice many years prior from Shoukun, his eldest brother's belated wife. From what he recalled it did not have a happy ending, or did it?

"Well I think I can spin a new twist on that story for you, dear."

"Don't worry, Grandpa, I'll help if you forget some parts." She declared.

Reishin laughed nervously. "Ok, ok. Time to get moving; bid your mother good night and we'll work on that story."

"Okaasan, goodnight," she said as she reached out from Reishin's arms to give her mother a quick kiss on her cheek.

Shuurei sighed her relief and smiled. "Good night, sweetie. I'll come check on you later."

Murasaki Hime kissed her mother's other cheek. "That one is for Otousan," she said smiling.

Shuurei felt her heart ache. She ran her hand through her little girl's unruly hair. "I'll pass it on to him. Good night princess."

With that Reishin whisked her off with promises of her favorite bedtime story. 

------------------------

Sometime in the middle of the night, Shuurei had fallen asleep. She was exhausted from the day's event and lack of sleep as she attended to Kouyu, who went in and out of his feverish delirium for most of the night. Renshin had stayed by her side as they took turns in applying ice-cold damp cloths to Kouyu's forehead and body to control the fever. It finally broke for good sometime around midnight. 

By then Reishin had decided it was enough, and he could watch over Kouyu for the remainder of the night and into the early morning. He gathered his niece's lithe body from her crouched position at Kouyu's bed side. He couldn't help but notice what a tiny woman his niece was. She was fragile and strong all at once. He frowned slightly, wondering if she was neglecting her health.

She stirred in his arms as she groggily blinked her eyes, awakening from her sleep. Her eyes flew wide open, realizing she had fallen asleep and was about to protest when he silenced her with a soft 'shhhh'. 

"No fussing. You need sleep and Doctor Sou said the throat infection was contagious for the first 48 hours."

"But...I can't leave Kou--" She protested.

"No buts. It's an order from your uncle and I'm sure Kouyu wouldn't want you exposing yourself or Murasaki-hime."

She knew her uncle was firm in his decision and wouldn't have it other way, so she decided to give in for now. Besides, she wasn't doing Kouyu any good by falling asleep, given her current fatigued state. She finally nodded and rested her cheek against Reishin's chest as he took her to her room.

After tucking her into bed, he made his way back to Kouyu's room to attend to his son's health.  
He sat quietly in a chair next to the head of the bed nervously tapping his foot. He had tried his darnest to remain cool while Shuurei was around, but inside he was far from calm. Thoughts of possibly losing his son had been plaguing his mind since the moment he had gotten notice of Kouyu's illness. However, Dr. Sou had assured him that it was likely an infection of the throat. In some cases victims of the illness developed sand paper rash and abdominal pain, but Kouyu had a milder case and in most instances the illness was self-limiting. He should be fine within a few days. 

Reishin soaked and rinsed another cloth in the icy water so that he may use it to wipe Kouyu's forehead. In the process, he gently brushed aside a stray strand of his dampened hair, revealing more of his face which has finally lost some of its redness. He seemed more peaceful now. Sighing in relief, Reishin's thoughts returned to concern about some things Kouyu had muttered incoherently during his tossing and turning around earlier in the night.  
At the time he was too preoccupied with Kouyu's feebleness and had pushed it aside, dismissing it as nonsensical product of his delirium. However, the cryptic words from his son's lips were gnawing at the back of his mind: Things like 'Shuurei, sorry. I didn't want to hurt you!' and 'Please forgive me.' .

Also, it didn't escape his attention that the two still maintained separate bedrooms, though that did not necessarily mean anything, given that it wasn't uncommon for a man of wealth to sleep separately from his women. Nevertheless, it bothered him. He couldn't help but wonder if they were truly happy. He never much cared for what was in the best interest of the Kou Clan, but the idea of his adopted son marrying his beloved niece was far better, in his mind, than her marrying into some other family—and certainly a better match than an union with that little upstart that sat on the throne.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Unfortunately I know very little about Juusan Hime from the novels so I'll winging her characterization from the little bits and pieces I know of her background and pics of her from the novel. (AU-ish)

**CHAPTER 6**

It was a day as any other at court. The emperor was in his private office surrounded by piles of documents that needed to be reviewed and signed, but on this day he was neither particularly interested nor preoccupied with work. Ryuuki had sat all morning at his desk with his hands leaning against his cheeks as he stared dreamily into space. His mind was occupied with pleasurable thoughts that brought a childish grin to his lips. Lately he had one thing on his mind, and that was seeing Shuurei again. Every wakening hours was spent thinking about their meeting, about desires he had long buried to focus on running his Kingdom and pleasing his advisers. However, holding her in his arms had reignited that carnal fire that had lain dormant in his heart for so long. She was in his dreams, his thoughts, and most importantly—in his heart. A simple gentle gesture from her, her lips uttering his name were enough to have him smiling like a stupid school boy in love. It surprised him how much his feelings hadn't changed but rather seemed to have intensified, now stronger than ever before. His eyes shut and yielded to the sweet ethereal vision of their passionate encounters, sighing softly as he recalled the sweet taste of her quivering lips and the softness of her body. Had he not been so enthralled in his fantasy he might have noticed the quiet entry of a female figure slipping through his door.

Long slender arms reached out encircling him in a warm embrace from behind. Ryuuki felt the familiar soft curves pressed against his back. He took in a deep breath as his mind returned to reality.

"Were you having a nice dream, Your Majesty?" a soothing feminine voice whispered in his ears. Then a quick lick of the tongue against his soft fleshy lobe was enough to have him jumping out of his seat.

"Ju--uu-san Hime..." he stammered realizing who the intruder was.

She was dressed in her usual horse-riding gear; her clothes tight but allowing enough freedom for her to move easily while riding, nor so tight as to be revealing. The skirt-like pattern was cut on the side and held in place by a sash, revealing the trousers she wore underneath. Flowing sleeves were tucked into riding gloves, and a high collar emphasized a long slender neck. Her facial features were delicate and flawless despite the glistening trace of sweat on her forehead, indicating she had enjoyed a vigorous morning ride. Her long ebony tresses were slightly damped, falling gracefully on her slender shoulder. Her cheeks were flushed and her piercing black eyes had a bright mischievous sparkle that always seem present after racing her favorite horse. She was indeed one of the most beautiful women in the land and her high birth rank as a daughter of the Ran Clan made her a perfect match; he sometimes couldn't help but think that had his heart not belonged to another woman he might have been captivated by her beauty. Also marrying her would have meant becoming Shuuei's brother-in-law, a not so unpleasant thought.

"Jeez, at least sound somewhat pleased to see me," she said with mocked anger.

"Yes, you were interrupting a rather beautiful, pleasant dream if you must know," he hmphed.

"Sorry, sorry. I should have knocked. But would it kill you to at least act like you give a damn about me once in awhile?" Giving up, she asked curiously, "Was it that woman...Kou Shuurei?"

"Yes..."

"Ahh, must be nice having such happy thoughts. I'm jealous."

"Eh?" he looked puzzled.

"The expression on your face when I walked in was that of utter bliss. You must love her a lot."

Ryuuki smiled, "I do. She means everything to me and..." he trailed off.

With her riding crop in hand she quietly walked to the window and sat on the sill as she leisurely basked in the warm sunny rays of the delightful spring day. She said nothing for a while as if thinking. Then finally she added, "And you'd do anything to have her back? "

He nodded. Indeed he wanted her back with every fiber in his body and wanted a chance to know the daughter he didn't know he had until a few weeks prior.

"We are similar in many ways, ne? If everything works out, we can both have what we want," she said turning to him with a secretive grin on her face.

Ryuuki nodded.

"I have news for you later. I'll be waiting." She winked and left as quietly as she had slipped in.

Ryuuki fell back into his chair sighing heavily. What they were doing was a huge gamble but it was the only thing he had left.

-----------------------------

Seiran stood up from the bed putting on his pants as he kept his eyes fixed on the object of his desire. She had risen early after their sultry love making the night before and was now entertaining herself devouring a peach as if it were...

He shook his head no—he had to hurry and get himself on the road for what he had setup to accomplish. He had journeyed back from his post in the northern part of the country upon summons from his beloved brother. However, he could not pass through the capital without paying a visit to Kouchou and enjoying the pleasures of her company. It was raw physical attraction, nothing more. His heart would always belong to one woman. That woman he could never have but as long as she was happy nothing else mattered.

"What's the rush, General Shi?" She asked in that low voice as she placed the ripe colorful peach against her moist lip taking another large bite of the fleshy fruit. He preferred when she used his given name but she had taken to teasing him with his formal title ever since his promotion as leader of the Uringun. Somehow, Seiran found himself turned on by this. He felt his breath catch in his throat, as she finished her meal by licking her fingers across her tongue all the while studying him.

"I have business to take care off," he commented flatly.

"Oh? You were never one to mix business with pleasure, but I'm glad you stopped by."

"Pleasure was all mine, really. I'll see you around," he said, leaning down for a quick kiss which ended up in a long wet drawn out eager tongue-twisting foreplay.

"Do come see me again." She smiled, finally relinquishing his lips. He give a quick hand wave and exited her bedroom using the backdoor entrance.

-----------

She met him again in a secluded location as she had promised. It was an unfamiliar place and she wasn't sure how she had gotten there. Everything seemed so hazy and confusing except for him standing in his trade-mark royal purple garments. He held her possessively in his arms as she fought with her heart and conscience regarding their clandestine meeting.

"Ryuuki... This is all wrong!"

"How so? We both love each other and there's no wrong in love," he said kissing the sensitive spot between the crook of her neck.

"No, this—me being here... I shouldn't have come." She said pushing him.

"What isn't right? The fact that you want me yet can look me in the eye and deny it? " He asked with hint of anger. "At least look at me when you push me away. When you deny me what is mine." He took her chin pulling her close as he held her still by the waist with his other hand.

"You're mine. You'll never be his or anyone else's . Fate brought you to me, Fate will lead you back to me." He smiled kissing her softly at first, then drawing her in for a longer and deeper kiss.

She felt boneless and helpless, a captive in his arms. She wished she could scold him and bully him into behaving himself like she once was able to. But she wasn't stupid nor oblivious to the fact that he was no longer the boy-king that needed discipline and scolding to keep him in line.

She was dealing with a man and one who was so deeply devoted to his love for her that no amount of protest would stand to reason.

His kiss grew insistent and the urgency became more apparent as he pushed her against the wall, trapping her so that she had no where to run.

"I won't let you go this time." He whispered hoarsely against her ears. His breathing was labored and heavy like that of a wild animal cornering his pray. She felt small waves of excitement course through her body. It had been a long time since she had been this eager and excited for intimacy.

Before she could gather her thoughts his lips were on her neck planting soft wet kisses here and there, trailing to the satin contour of her breasts. He inhaled deeply taking in the intoxicating scent of her heated skin before ripping the neckline of her troublesome dress. She gasped softly as she felt the force of his action cause her breasts to bounce free. And then, his lips were upon her ashen rose colored aureole; he drew the soft flesh into his mouth applying gentle suction to the sensitive tips. With his free hand he pushed her dress upward revealing her soft creamy thighs. He reluctantly released her swollen nipples and looked her in the eyes before slowly going down on his knees to explore that moist territory between her thighs. She bit her lips tilting her head towards the ceiling, eyes rolling in her head as she felt his warm breath touch her folds. She quickly brought a hand to her mouth in attempt to stop herself from screaming as his tongue slipped between her wetness and into her silken heat . Ryuuki looked up momentarily to gauge her reaction, pleased at the positively ravaging expression on her face he held her still as he continued to make love to her with his expert tongue.

Just as she thought she had died from the sheer ecstasy, he rose from his kneeling position and hoisted her up against the wall so that her pelvis was pressing against his hardened erection. There was hint of excitement and fear in her eyes. She didn't think it would had been possible to let a man touch her again after that night, but she could barely contain her eagerness in what was about to transpire.

"I love you...I need you...!" He said hoarsely as he pushed into her. He kept eye contact as he thrust into her moist heated sex. She brought her hands to clasp his cheeks drawing him close for a kiss with tongues mimicking the sensual action of their undulating pelvis.

Minutes...hours passed as they laid entangled in each others arms. For awhile neither spoke enjoying the comforting sound of their labored breathing. She turned to her side, not quite freeing herself from his possessive embrace. Gently she ran her hand through his long silky hair, bringing a few strands close to her and inhaling his scent. It was sweet, comforting. He smiled at her lazily with an expression of pure satisfaction.

"Shuurei…" he said breaking the silent.

"Un?"

"I would like to see our daughter again."

Shuurei woke up in cold sweats, breathing heavily. She looked around surveying the familiar surroundings in her room. She sighed, relieved that it had been just a dream. Yet it was the same recurrent dream she had had for the past several weeks, vague in some aspects and so vivid in others. She felt her cheeks burn recalling the details of the dreams. She was also embarrassed and mortified about thinking of such things given how things were slowly improving between her and Kouyu. Though she did not love Kouyu the way he wished, she could not get herself to leave with their child. It frightened her that Ryuuki might suspect the truth. Her desires for him after all this time away from him scared her just as much.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: **  
It's been a little while since I last updated but between getting ready to graduate and move and having an equally busy beta, things

got a little delayed. The fic will be a total of 10 chapters. I have chapter 8 already done and emailed to my lovely beta.

Also have the outlines for the final chapter done. Hopefully I'll have this fic done before I depart for Japan in mid July.

Ok a few vocabulary:

Ojisan : 'uncle' or used when a younger child refer to an older male

Otousan : Father

Okaasan: Mother

Manjuu (Come on you can't watch Saiunkoku and not know what those are! They are really yummy and everyone should give them a try :D)

Enjoy!

**chapter 7 **

Her long slender arms brought the finished design closer to the light, admiring the intricate pattern that formed the simple red rose. It was beautiful. She could hardly believe he had made it with his own hands. She turned onto her side on the bed facing him.

"So where did his Majesty learn how to sew?" She asked teasingly but was genuinely interested.

"It's called embroidery." He corrected her with a faint smile. "I learned it mostly on my own but got a few pointers from Shusui, who once was my personal attendant."

"Oh, is that so...Well is this a present for me then?" she asked with bright eyes.

"No," he said flatly.

"You're so cold! At least tell me that you'll make me one another time." She humphed, folding the handkerchief neatly back into its small box. "So who's it for? Let me guess! Shou Taishi?...No, no," she shook her head stifling a giggle at that thought. Then she added, "I bet it's for Kou...Shuurei? Am I right"

"You're so nosey! But if you must know it's for her little girl."

"Ah, I see. Such a difficult situation...this forbidden love." She looked at him sympathetically. Like Ryuuki, she had been separated by the one she loved by circumstance and powerful political and familial forces. Her heart laid elsewhere, in the form of a convicted criminal who once was her own brother's best friend and a loyal servant of the Ran Clan. She had known within her heart that he was innocent and although charges against her lover were later found to be false and were dismissed he had lost everything, friends and family.

She, on the other hand, had never given up on him. The little ray of hope she had awaited for all these months arrived in the form of a secret correspondence: he was now a free man. Her time with Ryuuki was soon coming to a close. She was grateful that he had allowed her a sanctuary in his previously unoccupied harem. In exchange, she had provided him with reprieve from bombardment of constant marriage proposals from his nagging advisers.

"I suppose it's more complicated than I would like," he said turning on his back. There was a hint of sadness and longing in his voice. Ryuuki had come to realize that love could bring some men utter bliss while it could usher a life time of pain and misery for others. He unfortunately found himself in the later category; the harder he pursued the woman he loved, the further away she seemed to slip from his grasp.

"Sometimes I wonder---were we not both in love with other people—if we could...if we might not have found happiness, or at least found comfort, with each other." She mused while absent-mindly tracing a finger along his exposed collar bone.

"Un." He said simply closing his eyes.

"Tomorrow, the man I summoned will be arriving. We can start implementing the plans we've worked out then."

She looked at him with a hint of sorrow; the expression on her face was warm and as empathetic as her companionship had been to him over the past several months. She would miss him, and in that moment she said a small prayer wishing that he would get what he truly wanted.

------

In the early morning hours at the Kou residence, the household, with the exception of two souls, had yet to awaken and Kou Shuurei herself was still enjoying a peaceful slumber.

Meanwhile in the Kou's Kitchen:

"Otousan, that's too much water!" Murasaki Hime said, pulling at her father's long sleeves as he attempted to follow the receipt for her favorite manjuu treat.

"Huh, you're right. Um, we can start over," Kouyu commented patting her head. The little girl give him a doubtful look saying 'Maybe we better off leaving cooking to mother'.

'She was too smart for her age', he thought to himself. "I promise I'll get it right this time. Besides, we don't want to bother your mother at this hour, right? She's been quite moody lately..." He thought about her mood swings that began earlier in the week. She only got that way when it was that time of the month. He cringed, reminding himself why he had an allergy to women in the first place. Their hormonal response to everything was one of those puzzling mystery of the female body that he never could understand nor care to bother with. His daughter was not yet a woman and he secretly hoped she would stay the way she was--his little girl.

"Well, Princess, you'll be in charge of mixing the dough," he said picking Murasaki Hime up and placing her at the table. He placed the large bowl of dough mixture in front of her. The child's eyes grew bright with excitement. This was her first time lending a helping hand in making manjuus. She had watched many times as her mother effortlessly mixed and kneaded the dough into the soft puffy shape of yummy goodness. Kouyu smiled, watching her try her best to imitate her mother's techniques.

He then turned to the bowls of beans and sesame paste he had been working on earlier. He tasted each one again: the beans filling needed a little more sugar, he thought.

While his cooking skills were not bad, he wasn't quite sure if he could pull off these manjuus. He had planned on making them for Murasaki as that was her birthday wish—to have manjuus for breakfast. He turned to check on her and was surprised at how good her manjuu doughs were coming along. They were smaller than the ones her mother usually molded, but then again, her hands _were_ that of a four year old .

Shuurei stirred in her bed slowly coming out of her sleep. She rubbed her eyes, shielding them from the harsh rays of the morning sun piercing through her window.

She was feeling better this morning. Last nights' cramps were the worse; she shuddered recalling the pain that ripped through her pelvis causing her to bawl over.

She had been worried about the bleeding and cramping that started earlier in the week. She hadn't been certain of her pregnancy but if she was, bleeding like that was not a good sign so she sought help from Dr. Tou. After taking a thorough history and examining her, he reassured her that her body was cleansing her uterus that had remained stagnant for the past two months. She was having her period .

_"IS THAT IT??!" She asked falling to the ground with a sigh of relief; the cramping pain was temporarily forgotten._

_"Yes," he nodded offering a hand to assist her up on her feet. "There are many reasons for a woman to have irregular or no periods. One of the most common, aside from pregnancy, is stress. You should be more attentive to your health and your well being, Shuurei-dono." He smiled warmly._

_Shuurei nodded. She had been under a great amount of emotional stress in the past several weeks, and it _had_ caused her to neglect her health. Fortunately things at home were returning back to 'normal' if one could even call it as such. She had put aside her differences with Kouyu for the sake of Murasaki Hime. She wasn't sure she could forget what happened but she had forgiven him. Now, the news that she wasn't pregnant was a welcomed relief and she was even more relieved for not having told Kouyu prematurely._

She sat up lazily stretching her arms. From the brightness outside it was evident that the day would be a lovely one. Then it occurred to her that today was.

"Ah! How could I have overslept and forgotten about it!" she screamed kicking back the cover. She hurriedly slipped into her house robe and left her room, venturing into the long corridors of the Kou mansion. She was heading towards the direction of her daughter's room when she caught whiff of a delicate sweet aroma of freshly steamed manjuus. Curious, she followed the smell of the delicacy into the kitchen. She slowed down as she heard laughter coming from the kitchen.

The scene was one that was heart warming and perfect for the occasion. She watched quietly from the kitchen's entrance as the two occupants in the kitchen enjoyed the sampling of the pastries at the dinner table.

She coughed, clearing her throat to get their attention.

"Well, hope you don't mind me intruding on this special father and daughter breakfast." She smiled walking into the kitchen.

Kouyu got up pulling a chair for her to sit. "Not at all. Please join us. I ...I didn't want to disturb you this early."

She thanked him and sat across from the two.

"Happy birthday sweetie." She smiled. "Did you make these mini manjuu yourself?" she inquired.

"Yup and I also showed Otousan how to mix it properly too. " She grinned.

"That's wonderful, sweetie." Shuurei told her with a smile. Murasaki Hime beamed proudly.

"These are delicious." Shuurei pronounced, hoping to break the silence that had fallen in the kitchen before it became uncomfortable. "Did you make the filling too?"

"No, that was Otousan. He made that."

"Really?" Shuurei turned toward Kouyu, "I'm impressed."

Kouyu blushed, "It was nothing."

Shuurei smiled and they both reached out for the last bean filled manjuu bun. Their hands brushed against each other and they both withdrew simultaneously blushing and apologizing. Kouyu coughed, "Please go ahead." Offering her the last one left on the plattered. She smiled taking the bun and broke it in half offering a piece to him. He accepted with a warm smile and took a bite. Somehow this piece tasted better than all the rest, he thought to himself.

When they were through, Kouyu stood up.

"Well ladies, unfortunately I have to head to work. I'll see you later tonight, princess," he said kissing her forehead.

"Take care, otousan." She waved her tiny hands.

Shuurei watched him as he left.

"Neee, Okaasan. I would like to make some more manjuus to take to Grandpa and Mr. Fashionable Ojisama."

"Eh...Mr. Fashionable-ojisama?" She repeated slightly puzzled but quickly realized she was referring to Ryuuki. A bead of sweat formed on her forehead as she forced a nervous smile. She had a good memory, this child of hers.

"Un...Well, we could get Grandpa to deliver them to Mr. Fashionable- ojisama. He's a very important person and is quite busy."

"Is that so? " She said a little disappointed.

"But I'm sure he'll appreciate your delicious manjuu nonetheless." She reassured her child, caressing her long honey-colored hair. 'She had those same warm inquisitive amber-colored eyes as that person', she thought. She smiled lovingly, realizing how much more her daughter seemed to resemble Ryuuki with each passing year. It made her heart ache thinking that...

-----------

He had slipped unnoticed into the imperial library archives, wandering the rows of shelved books laden with dust in search of one particular person. After an initial go around the archives,he found the man he was looking for crouched in a far corner where no one would likely disturb whatever it was he was doing.

"Shouka." Ryuuki said getting the attention of the older man who was busy shelving a stack of books.

"Oh! Your Majesty, what a surprise. It's been awhile since I've seen you around here." He said smiling pleasantly. "What do I owe this visit to?" he inquired standing on his feet to address the young man.

"Eh...well...there's a small favor I'd like to ask of you." Ryuuki said bashfully as he fumbled with his words.

"I see. And What may that be?" He inquired raising his eyebrow with a hint of curiosity .

"Um...I would be eternally grateful if you could give this to Shuurei's little girl." He handed him a small box that had been carefully and beautifully wrapped in decorative violet and gold wrap.

"I can see to that, " Shouka said taking the box as he studied Ryuuki as if trying to gauge what would prompt him to make such a request. He wondered if he had any suspicions. It was only a matter of time before he found out.

"Thank you." The emperor clasp his hand followed by a quick bow of the head--something that surprised even the well composed Shouka. This seems to mean a great deal to him, he thought.

"Oh, before I forget: I was told to delivery these to you," He said, picking up a boxed lunch that had been sitting on his desk. "'Resteam them for no more than a few minutes just before eating it', were the instruction given to me for you."

Ryuuki accepted the box lunch with a delightful surprised look on his face. It was possibly the best present he had gotten in a long time though he had not even had a taste of its contents.

"I hope to someday be able to enjoy her mother's manjuu with her," he said with a silly grin plastered on his face. "Thank you, Shouka. This makes me happy." He added and then bid his goodbyes.

Shouka stood pensively as he watched the Emperor leave. He then returned his gaze to the small object in his hand with an unreadable expression on his face.

"The Wheels of Fate are slowly churning..." He commented to himself and tucked the box into his pocket as he returned back to finishing his task.


	8. Chapter 8

**Author Note:** Hi Minna-san, sorry for the late update.

I am currently spending a few weeks here in beautiful overcrowded Tokyo. I figure I should update so here is chapter 8. Enjoy!

**chap 8**

They had spent all afternoon chatting on just about everything from everyday life at court to mundane politics. She, of course, did most of the talking while her older brother simply listened patiently to her stories, most of which pertained to the latest gossips around court. However, she was careful to avoid any pertaining to his majesty or a certain Lady Kou.

Shuuei leaned back in his seat taking a sip of the tea she had poured into his cup. He couldn't help but noticed how much more livelier she seemed on this particular day. It was the most chattering she's done in all his visits to her at the imperial court. The general had worried that things were perhaps not going well with her and the emperor or that she had regretted her decision in coming here. However, his concerns might have been over exaggerated, he thought to himself. She was a very capable and adaptable girl—no, _woman_. As much as he had hated having to comply with his oldest brothers' wishes to facilitate her engagement to a man she did not love, he thought this would be a reasonable arrangement. After the fiasco with Shun, he wasn't sure what would become of Juusan.

"Well, enough about all this boring, stuffy, court gossip. I'm sure I've talked your ears off already," she declared falling back onto her cushion.

"I don't mind," he said quietly.

"Umm...well, lets hear a little bit about you. How's life been treating you? Any progress in your conquests?" She inquired teasingly, sitting up on her cushion.

"Life's been the same old. Seems like I'm doom to fall hard for unavailable, unwilling people," he replied absently twirling the tea around in his cup.

"Aniki...you never did have much luck in love, ne?" She said smiling sympathetically as she leaned forward, gently holding his cheeks in her hands. Shuuei responded by leaning into the soft warmth of her palms.

"Indeed, and I never seem to learn from it either." His smile was bitter; his love life was laughable at best. He had been in love three times in his life, and all three times with people that were far out of his reach for one reason or the other. Ironically, the only companions that never seem to let him down had been anyone of the many whores he had slept with. At least with them, there were less chances of him getting hurt and there were no expectations other than the simple exchange of sex for money.

"It hasn't been easy for you, either, but I think you'll do well as the Emperor's consort," he encouragingly said as he looked up at her.

"Un—I don't have much of a choice, do I?" She stood up and turned around biting her lip. She had not meant for it to come out accusatorily. After all, it wasn't his fault that she had been forced into the position of a concubine. It could have been worse: she could have been married off to some old lord in the country side instead, who would have likely not have been as gallant nor as sympathetic as Ryuuki had been to her during all these months.

"Juusan..."

"Maa, enough with all this regretful and rather depressing talk. I want to go out. It's too beautiful a day to spend cooped up indoors," the Ran hime announced. Juusan opened a nearby window. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, enjoying the cooling sensation of the crisp breeze blowing through her thick black tresses. The day was fresh and she was eager to ride in the vibrant spring weather. It was times like these she felt alive and free. Though actual freedom and happiness were still an arm's length away, she no longer thought it an impossible dream.

Soon. Soon, she will be free to be with the one she love.

"Sounds like a good idea. Shall we?" he asked, gallantly offering her his arm. She slipped her hand through his arm, affectionately clinging to him as they walked through the halls. She would miss him dearly; she unconsciously tightened her grip as the realization that this would be her last time seeing him sunk in.

"Is everything okay?" The intensity of the grip did not go unnoticed.

Un. I'm fine," she lied leaning her head against his shoulder.

"Silly girl. You're a little too overgrown to be holding on so possessively to your brother, don't you think?" He teased playfully, affectionately patting her hair.

"Meanie." She pouted. He smiled down at her and thought she was impossibly cute--something he wouldn't dare tell her out loud.

Growing up she had always looked up to Shuuei, and there was a time when she had been infatuated with her older brother--an innocent childish crush. Shuuei was the one who had introduced her to her Shun when she was a mere ten years old. Back then he had thought it cute how she followed them around like a lost puppy. And, as she grew older, he watched over them as they fell in love. He had been devastated when Shun had seemingly turned against the Ran Clan conspiring with their enemies. Even then he had given him the benefit of the doubt, but when his older brothers had insisted he break all ties with his best friend and distant Juusan from him, Shuuei had no other choice but to obey. Shuuei, for all his carefree blasé approach to things, felt strongly obligated to his Clan above all else. Nonetheless, deep down he had wanted her to be happy.

"By the way, where is His Majesty?" he asked as they made a turn around the end of the hall heading towards the stables.

"Oh, he had a personal matter to take care off," she answered nonchalantly.

"I see."

---------------------

Shuurei sighed absently as she recalculated a column of figures which simply refused to add up. She was almost finished with the day's work but today she was in no hurry to get home. Her mind had been going back and forth, indecisive on one thing: the note she had found laying on her desk in a not so inconspicuous spot.

'_Meet me in the imperial garden by the south entrance tomorrow evening. Anonymous' _.

The handwriting was undoubtedly from that Person. She pulled the crumpled note from under a stack of papers in her draw and looked at it with a frown. She heaved another sigh. She had two choices: (a) either she ignore it and keep running away from him or (b) face it and put an end to it. Undoubtedly he had questions, one in particular that she had hoped to never have to deal with, but she knew that the truth would someday come out, if not become outright apparent. Perhaps she had been selfish not to tell him about their child, but she thought not telling was the best thing to do, as it would only open its own can of worms on top of all the problems she was already confronted with. Maybe, she had been wrong but she had thought it the most sensible course at the time.

She got up, pushing the draw closed as she did so. Shuurei shredded the note and did not watch as the parts fluttered into the waste bin. She had finally made a decision: she was tired of running.

When they met again, the sakura trees were no longer blooming but rather had began to shed. There were sakura everywhere adorning the rich earth, adding their colorful cream and pink hues to that of the green terrain. Ryuuki had asked her to come to a private part of the imperial garden where he had often gone to seek solace or reflect upon things when he was troubled or sad. They would be alone, unlikely to encounter any interruptions and free if they both wish to...

He was leaning back against a tree staring aimlessly into the horizon. The sun was slowly setting against a beautiful orange-red sky that stretched as far as the eyes could see. It was a beautiful sunset, picture perfect, but it didn't matter. Had it been storming he would have still been there, waiting, needing, wanting. He only hoped she would come, though there were no guarantees.

She came. As she approached the spot where he stood, she felt her legs tremble with uneasiness; her palms were warm and moist from perspiration and her heart was palpitating, causing a tightness in her chest as each step brought her closer to him. For a second, she had thought of quickly turning around, but he must have heard the loud thumping of her heart or perhaps it was the rustling sounds of her wobbly feet on the petal covered ground that alerted him of her presence. He turned in her direction. She took a deep breath forcing herself to calm down. 'Breathe. Be calm and in control and everything will be fine,' she thought.

His face grew bright upon seeing her. His warm, familiar smile and the adoring look in his amber eyes drinking her in were enough to make her weak in the knees.

"Shuurei...you came." Relief was evident in his voice. He had been so worried that she may not come at all.

"I figured it was you. Very few people I know sign their notes as anonymous," she said flatly.

"Shuurei...I've missed you," he breathed, reaching out to stroke her warm cheek. "There's much that we need to talk about," he continued.

"Yes, we do," she said, her voice firm despite the flinch she gave as she pulled away from his caresses. "For starters, you should be more careful about dropping incriminating notes like this on the desk of a married woman. If it had fallen in the wrong hands we'd both be in a very difficult situation!" she admonished him, annoyed and indignant.

"I am sorry, I was just so desperate to see you again. It was the only..."

"Fine. So where do you want to start?" she asked cutting him off.

Her apparent coldness did not seem to bother him. Rather, he smiled walking towards her, stopping just short of a hair's breadth in front of her as he pulled her without warning into his arms. She yelped surprised as she fell into his arms.

"For starters," he mimicked albeit with a soft voice,"I'd like a hug. And, perhaps a kiss or two ..." He tilted her head towards his. He couldn't resist that dear-caught-in-the-headlight look on her exquisite face. The faint rosy blush on her cheeks was irresistibly cute and those parted lips were cruelly tempting. His fingers lifted her face towards his, forcing her to stand on the tip of her toes as he stooped down to meet her half way. She blushed furiously but quickly regained composure. Placing her small pale hand against his mouth, she pushed herself from him though she was not completely able to break free. She glared angrily at him but he seemed oblivious to her irritation—or rather, pleased to see that she was still the same Shuurei he had come to love: always so proper and indignant when he was the opposite: shameless in his neediness for her affection and attention. He held onto her arms fearing she'd flee.

"Ryuuki... Please behave yourself," she pleaded frustrated with his impulsiveness.

"But, you're asking me to do the impossible… Shuurei, you don't realize how long I've wished to hold you like this again," he whispered longingly as he grabbed her by the waist, drawing her possessively into his arms. The burning desire in those beautiful forlorn eyes caused her heart to flutter in her chest and she was sure that he could feel the sheer force of it. There was also a hint of mischief in those eyes and his playful grin was enough to let her know this would be harder than she had thought. Perhaps she shouldn't have come, but there were things they needed to say. She had to get it off her chest.

"Just one kiss," he pouted. He was irritatingly cute.

"No!" She said emphatically, narrowing her eyes. She would not take the bait she told herself.

"I came to talk. Seriously. There are a lot of things we left unsaid and I think we need to get them out now."

"I am all ears, but I've missed you so much… Can you fault me for wanting to keep you close like this...?" He leaned in for a kiss but this time she reacted, swinging her hand towards his face. He was fast on the uptake, however, effectively trapping her wrist in his grip.

"Let go," she demanded, narrowing her dark brown eyes.

"No." It was said calmly.

"Why?!" she yelled frustration evident in her voice.

"I didn't do anything that warrants a slap in the face, that's all." He slowly relinquished his grip on her.

She felt blood rush to her head upon hearing that. This wasn't working; she would have to take a different approach. One that seem to work well in the past.

She looked at him with arms crossed. "Ryuuki…" she said warningly. "Knock it off AND Sit! Jeez, you still are as incorrigible as a child!" she said sharply in that scary maternal manner of the Shuurei he had known from years prior. Ryuuki's eyes widened in surprise but did as she asked releasing her and sitting dutifully onto the ground.

"Well, lets get a few things clear from the get go," she started, making every effort to sound serious and practical. She had to get through to him since she apparently was the only one of the two acting like an adult in this situation. She looked at him sitting in his crouched position attentively listening to her as she spoke. She let a faint smile escape her lips, unable to resist that sad puppy-dog look on his face as if someone had just denied him a biscuit. Sighing, she tried to recompose herself as she thought of the words she had recited a hundreds times in anticipation of this meeting.

"Well. For starters, you know I'm married. I have a child…" She was stating the obvious, but he had to hear it from her.

Ryuuki face darken a little as he listened. Her words cut to the bone like a sharp dagger.

"I am also quite aware that you are--" She paused and bit her lip as she forced herself to say it, though the thought somehow made her heart ache and she hated how jealous it made her thinking of him with... "You're engaged to another woman. So logically it would be—"

"Shuurei, " he interrupted as he stood up. "You don't have to treat me as if I'm a complete idiot," he said quietly. The hurt in those words made her feel like she'd kicked a defenseless puppy. "I know all this, but you can't will the heart to love differently even when faced with a mountain of improbabilities and obstacles." He was wounded and the expression on his face was sullen and pitiful, something that should never been seen on an emperor. But Ryuuki was also a man—one whom had just been rejected by the woman he loves.

She felt her heart sink, fearing she might have hurt him more than she had intended with her words.

"Shuurei, remember what I told you years ago?"

She looked at him with a questioning look. He reached out touching her cheeks with his callous fingers as he slowly traced them across her soft lips.

"I would wait for you, even if it meant waiting forever… I have not changed my mind." He said bending down to kiss her. This time she remained quiet, slightly parting her lips as his touched hers. There was no urgency as he slipped his tongue into the warm wetness of her mouth. His lips were dry and chapped in contrast to her soft ones, but somehow this kiss was sweeter than his earlier kisses. He still loved her as much as the day he first laid eyes on her. Neither distance, duty, her marriage or political intrigue would change that. He drew back slowly, holding her hands in his as he looked her in the eyes with an earnest expression on his face.

"I will never accept anyone but you. You're here..." Ryuuki placed her hand over his heart. "Since that fateful day in the garden, and will be Forever."

"That's all..."

"Did you have anything else to tell me that I perhaps did not already know?" He inquired with a patient expression.

"Un..." She nodded. There was a gentle radiance about her face, akin to the basking in the afterglow that one would expect from a lady who had just had her lover declare his undying love for her.

"That night, when I ended our relationship... I didn't know until later that something new would grow out of it. I give birth to a baby girl four years ago. She—she was our daughter." Finally. Being able to say those words out loud felt like a huge burden had been lifted off her shoulder.

"Thank you," he said, gently squeezing her hands. "I had wanted to hear it from you ever since that day when I first saw her."

"Ryuuki… please don't be mistaken. She may have your blood coursing through her veins, but she has only known one father since birth."

"Shuurei, I can offer both you and Murasaki Hime a sanctuary if you leave now. I know this would bring the wrath of the Kou Clan, but I will stand up to anything, even your uncles...and Kouyu." He said, desperation evident in his voice. Though he knew what he was asking her would spell both social and political suicidal for both; he couldn't bear the thought of losing her yet again, and if this was the only way he could have her...

"I can't do that," she said simply withdrawing her hand from his.

"But you don't love him." He responded taking her hand once again. She lowered her eyes falling silent.

"You belong to me as I to belong to you. It's simple as that."

"Ryuuuuki...you're so stubborn!" She said her voice quivering as she fought back tears. She knew then if she let herself cry in front of him she'd be lost.

"I know I may sound like a pathetic fool but I love you. I'll say it a thousand times until it reaches your heart." He placed his hands on both her cheeks drawing her close.

"There's also that part of me that is selfish when it comes to having you to myself." He kissed her again wrapping his arms around her waist. This time she reacted by bringing her arms around his neck, eagerly responding to the kiss. She wasn't sure why she had given in but she could no longer deny that her heart still belonged to him and that...

They kissed many times with their body molded to each other against the almost bare sakura tree both oblivious to the world around them. For that one moment it was as if they were the only two people left on earth. Time stopped and neither would have cared if it remained so forever. Finally, when their lungs ached and burned from the lack of air, they regretfully parted their swollen lips from each other and stood silently staring at each other as they struggled to catch their breath. There was nothing left to say beyond what their bodies had expressed already. Reluctantly he let go of her hand as she once again slipped away from his grasp. However, this time Ryuuki did not feel as if she was saying her final goodbyes but rather, he had hope that somewhere in her heart, he had cracked open a window of opportunity for something more.

-----------

That evening Shuurei received an unexpected but pleasant visit from an old cherished friend. After his brief adventures in the Red Light district , Seiran had decided to pay Shuurei a visit before heading to the imperial court. He hadn't seen her in years and coming back to Kiyou would not feel like Home if he didn't see her or her father. He'd pay Shouka a separate visit on another occasion but for now he had wanted to see his oujo-sama again. Seeing her again after so many years, it dawned on him that she was no longer a girl but a woman—a married woman with a child of her own. He only hoped that she had remained the kind and beautiful lady he had known most of his life.

In the quiet sanctuary of her private quarters, he listened attentively with his eyes closed as she played the niko. The melody was nostalgic and sorrowful, and for a moment, he could almost feel the pain and loneliness of its creator. Perhaps he knew her better than anyone else and knew things weren't as peachy as she would had lead him to believe in her correspondences with him over the years. There was sorrow and emptiness in those eyes that he couldn't quite grasp. It pained him that she was hurting this much and likewise was his brother. There was little he could do for either of the two people he loved the most, and for Seiran, feeling powerless was one of those things he did not handle well. His fist clenched and unclenched. Frustrated he bit his lips drawing blood from them. There had to be something he could do. Ryuuki had asked him to come back as there was an important task he could entrust to no one but him.

When she had finished the piece, she poured him a warm cup of Kanrou tea and offered him the sweet smelling drink.

"I'm so glad you came to visit, Seiran. I've missed you dearly." She said with a loving smile.

Seiran inhaled the soothing aroma of Kanrou tea made by the hands of his beloved mistress and took a sip and smiled. It was as warm and sweet as the woman who had made it. He knew he was home.

"I've been homesick myself and I've missed you and the little one overly much. I'm back, Oujo-sama."

"Welcome back," she replied.

"How are things going for you?" He asked placing his cup down. His eyes studied her quietly, nothing went unnoticed.

"Things are the usual. I'm busy at work with a new budget plan for the upcoming fiscal year. I'm also thinking of a career move of some sorts. You know my love started with teaching and I'd like to go back to that someday. Perhaps a transfer into the ministry of education... And, of course, raising a child also keeps me quite busy." She mused lively about work.

He nodded. "If you don't mind me asking, how's married life treating you?"

She had to pause momentarily as she carefully chose her words.

"Eh, well, it's got its ups and downs, like any marriage I suppose... We are both very busy people and that can be a challenge, and," She felt herself rambling; the question was one she had been hoping to avoid but she knew it'd be hard to hide anything from Seiran. He had always been perceptive in her regards and could read her like an open book. She was speaking to Kouyu again but nothing else had changed regarding her feelings towards him. She had come to the painful realization that she could never love anyone else but that man…

Seiran leaned forward, grasping her hands in his as he looked at her with concern.

"Is Oujo-sama happy?" He inquired.

She fell silent as if thinking. "Ye-Yes." She said lowering her eyes slightly .

"I see..." He released her hand and took another quick sip of her tea. Somehow he wasn't convince, and the hesitation in her voice only confirmed his suspicions. She never was good at lying to begin with.

"Well, enough about me. Tell me what you've been up to," she asked in return, changing the subject. However, she was also genuinely interested in hearing about his adventures and life as a decorated army leader.

"I can't complain. I like my job and it keeps me busy."

"Are you visiting on business?" She inquired.

"No. I have a personal matter to take care off." He replied dryly.

"Oh nothing serious is it? "

"I don't think so." He smiled and stood. "Oujo-sama I will have to excuse myself as I have an important meeting coming up shortly."

She was sad to see him leave so soon. There was so much she would have liked to say but she did not want to burden him with her problems. Seiran had always taken her troubles on his shoulders and she had not been able to do the same for him on a fair exchange. She bid him goodbye, kissing him softly on the cheek. He blushed and had to restrain his desire to hold her close to him. For a brief moment he had thought of taking her away from this place, away from the troubles that seem to sadden those once lively eyes.

Instead he simply told her, 'Take care."


	9. Chapter 9

Author's Note:  
Sorry for the long delay but life got a bit busy and I do work long hectic hours. Anyways, The story is coming to an end. Next chapter will be the last one. It's already

done and has been sent off to my Beta (who I thank again for her help!)

Anyways, if you like the story or have suggestions for saiunkoku related story ideas let me know. I have one-shot Seiran x Shuurei I'm working on but will see how that goes lol

**Chapter 9**

She had spent the week anxiously awaiting word from His Majesty regarding the plan but the week went by without hearing a word from him. She now laid alone on her bed listening to the rustling of the wind and the trickle of the summer rain outside, mind racing and clouded with doubt. There was always that nagging thought lingering in her head that he may have backed out, but she had to trust him; at this point it was all she had left . She tossed around under the covers for what seem to be the hundredth time that night. She had slept little over the past few days. Tonight, she was even more restless. Perhaps it was the full moon or lack of sleep she mused. Just as she was about to make another turn underneath the covers, she thought she had heard the rustling sound of clothing, or perhaps footsteps. She had long dismissed her maids for the night. The room was dark safe for the dim flickering candle light at her bedside. She reached for her dagger, hidden beneath the pillow case and closed her eyes as the faint foot steps drew closer to the bed. She kept the weapon out of necessity, having been the

target of one too many attempted assassinations.

She could hear the intruder's footsteps more clearly as he drew closer, then the dull click of hard soled shoes hitting the floor ceased, and she knew he was at her bed side. Her heart squeezed painfully. Cautiously she remained still, yet she could feel the adrenaline rising through her body as her heart pounded in her ears. She knew better than to let fear rule her now; she had been trained to defend herself at an early age. It was now or never. She grabbed her dagger and turned swiftly, aiming for his jugular vein, but her assailant managed to deflect her blow with a frightening ease. In her brief struggle with him she had lost the dagger. Her only recourse left then was to use her voice, but the stranger clasped her mouth with his stronger hands, effectively silencing the scream that would have escaped her mouth.

"Shh... You don't want to have the guards barging in here, now, Hotaru-sama," he said firmly.

Her eyes grew wide. How did he know her given name? Up close, she was finally able to get a good look at him. The man was slender and dressed all in black. His shoulders were visibly broad even under the black hooded cloak, yet his face was hardly one that would inspire fear. In fact, if it had been under any other circumstance, she would have thought him quite handsome. Something about those pale blue eyes and silvery untamed locks and that exquisitely beautiful face seemed familiar; even more odd was that he somehow reminded her of the emperor... Yet he was different—more calculating, and his impenetrable gaze was different from the kind look His Majesty bestowed on her.

She gasped softly, struggling to breath as he kept his hand firmly over her face.

"I'm here to help you. I will move my hand away slowly, but you must remain quiet." She nodded realizing that the intruder was perhaps the man Ryuuki had spoken about earlier.

"I know this is short notice..." He said, removing his hand as he covered her lightly clothed figure with a heavy traveling cloak. "I have our horses ready. We have to cross the border before dawn so please hurry as time is of the essence."

Juusan nodded but she still had questions and she needed answers before taking off with the stranger. 'He could still be dangerous,' a small voice at the back of her mind reminded her.

"How do you know my name?" She inquired as she slipped on the cloak and made a quick change of clothing. He blushed and quickly turned his back towards her. His modest gesture and respect towards her privacy reassured her he had no ill intentions in mind.

He coughed, clearing his throat. "Lets just say… that I know your brother, Shuuei, quite well..."

He was certainly full of surprises but she moved onto the next question.

"And what relations do you have to His Majesty?" She asked, finally able to stare him in the eyes.

"That I can't divulge. But it should be suffice to know that he trusts me unconditionally. Now," he said as he grabbed her hand, "we must cut the interrogation short and get going." She did not resist as he led her through the secret passage from which he had entered her room. He seemed to know every turn and corner as if it was something he had done many times before...then it occurred to her the stranger's face was one she had been introduced to not too long before entering the harem.

"Shi...Seiran?" She thought to herself. Though not common knowledge she knew about his past as the imperial second prince, Seien... After all, he was the man who was once sought after by the Ran triplets as a suitable husband for her, an idea she had immediately disliked, having her own preconceived notion of pretty-faced, useless men. And then, there was the matter of Shun. Though, in retrospect, as she studied the stranger, he seemed to be a man with many secrets; one that had lived through some hard times though one would never be able to tell looking at him now. Either way, she was grateful for his help in carrying out her escape.

--------

They rode for most of night and by dawn they had reached the Shi province's outermost borders where she would take off on her own towards Sa province. The route was an easy one and she was capable of taking on the remainder of the journey on her own.

Seiran would have escorted her all the way but in the end this was what Juusan had wanted. She did not want anyone implicated in the matter if she could help it. Shun was waiting for her at the entry point to Sa province and that was enough for her.

"I guess this is where we bid our goodbyes..."

He nodded. "Take this with you. And be careful," he cautioned, handing her a sword.

She held the pristine blade in her hand, admiring it's sharp edges as it reflected the light, but perhaps it was the crest on its hilt that caught her attention. It was undoubtedly _his_ sword… She embraced the familiar weapon as if afraid it might fall out of her grasp.

"Shiba Jin... He asked me to give it to you. He says you would know what to do with it if the need arises." Indeed. Though her feminine build belied it, she was as skillful with the blade as any swordsman.

"Thank you." She smiled gratefully. "And please, tell his majesty I'll be fine." With that, the Ran princess turned her horse around and spurred it onward towards the westward bound path ahead. The horizon receded and the road ahead forked and melted into the morning sun. There was no looking back...no time to spare for goodbye tears: Shun--Shiba Jin was waiting for her. Soon she would be with the man she had loved since before she knew what love was.

-------

Not too long after Juusan's elopement, the imperial court was gripped with salacious rumors surrounding the most esteem Clan amongst the eight most noble families of the empire. The scandal itself would have gone unnoticed had it not been such a huge political and social embarrassment for the Ran Clan and a source of amusement for their rivals. On his end, Shuuei had to deal with the scorn of his oldest brothers and his perceived failure in protecting their sister, and more pointedly, seeing to it that she became Ryuuki's empress. He did not care for the later but was determined to find out who else was involved as surely she had inside help.

His search for the culprit ended in the red-light district, a place where he had often sought the comfort and pleasure of fine liquor and beautiful women. However, his visit this time around was for neither of the two.

--------–

"Where is my sister?!" he stormed into Kochou's room, knowing he'd find the man he needed to talk to.

"Wait a minute! Ran Shogun, you ought to know better than barging in on a lady's--"

"Shut the hell up! Lady is hardly a word befitting of a whore," he snarled shooting her a quick dismissing glance then returning his focus to her companion who had reached for his sword immediately. Seiran had his weapon drawn and prepared for his opponent.

Shuuei licked his lips and spit as he clutched his sword in one hand while his other closed and opened nervously. He wasn't so sure that he wanted to fight his one-time friend for something he suspected his sister was more than a willing participant, but duty and the honor of his clan was at stake. The little evidence he had managed to gather pointed to Seiran as the envoy that facilitated Juusan hime's elopement with her lover. He was undoubtedly working also for the emperor, though there was no proof to link either.

"Seiran! I know you had a hand in this. Where is she? I could not getting anything out of His Majesty, but I'll force it out of you if I have to!" he roared. It was easier to take his anger out on this lesser man than the one on the throne, an easier outlet for his private anguish that the emperor would betray him and his clan thus.

"I don't owe you any explanations, Shuuei. Perhaps you should have asked her yourself. If you didn't have your head so far up your brothers' ass, you might have noticed her cries for help and done something other than force her into the imperial harem." Seiran rebuffed, poised to fight back if need be.

"Don't you dare lecture me, bastard," he snarled swing his sword at Seiran who quickly deflected the steel blow with his tried and true blade, kanshou. "You yourself are nothing but his majesty's lap dog," he said, striking forcefully at his opponent who managed to hold his own .

Seiran gave a half shrug. "That may be so, but it's freely done, and not because my arm's twisted behind my back," he pointed out.

Shuuei gritted his teeth and pushed hard against his opponent in response, to which Seiran answered in kind, sending the two apart. Shuuei followed with a quick jab at his opponents stomach. The silver haired Seiran side-stepped to avoid the thrust, and sent one of his own at Shuuei's head. The Ran general with his feline like reflexes only narrowly managed to duck at the last moment.

Shuuei let out his breath. 'I'm letting my emotions get to me. I'm being careless,' Shuuei thought as he eyed the long strand of dark hair that floated to the floor next to his head piece. He assessed his opponent's bare chest 'And he isn't even breathing hard.'

The two generals circled around each other as each looked warily for an opening.

"Again, I ask, where is my sister?"

"If she wanted to be found, she would have left you a message."

Shuuei let out a frustrated growl. "You don't understand, do you?! Seiran, she is my sister, and was under my protection. As able as she is, she is still a lone woman out there all by herself, at the mercy of bandits, of assassins sent by my family's enemies…! Did you even take that into consideration?!"

"Why don't you wait and see what she does? If she can find it in her heart to forgive those that turned her over to her fate in the Harem, by means of deception and without thought for what she wants, I'm sure she'll--"

"You ass!" Shuuei charged his sword slightly to the side before he brought it up and diagonally. "What would you know about being a good brother?!"

At that Seiran's eyes narrowed. He blocked the flurry of slashes the infuriated Ran brother heaped on him. His cool façade melted under the onslaught, and Seiran voiced his opinion on the Ran clan's machinations. "If you really cared about her, then you should have paid attentions to her feelings, instead of treating her like a pawn." The thought of treating his Ojou-sama in a similar fashion, to progress politically or socially and disregard her worth as a person, sickened him. Furthermore, the behavior of the Ran triplets brought to forth to his mind his own dead brothers' manipulations, though it be to a lesser degree.

"And you, your brothers, are you really more concerned about your missing sister, or the lost of face before the Court?" As he vented, Seiran lost some of his restraint and forced Shuuei back before his dancing blade.

Before the silver-haired man's fury, Shuuei was reminded who his opponent is, what he risked by serving at his emperor's side, yet also what he has given up by remaining at just the side of the emperor. While this realization struck, he tripped over a low foot stool, sending him sprawling to the ground. When he brought stunned eyes up, he found himself at the end point of Seiran's gleaming sword.

Seiran looked down his nose at his fallen challenger, looking every inch the prodigious prince he once was. "Now, I must ask you to leave." But before he could hook his sword tip under Shuuei's chin, he felt his feet being swept out from beneath him. His eyes widen as he saw his sword coming down landing neatly at the foot of the Ran general. Seiran braced himself for the fall

haven lost his bearings.

Shuuei was the one now standing looking down at his opponent who just a short moment earlier had the upper hand over him. He opened his clutched hand to throw his sword aside; after all, swordfight or no, this was still a trusted vassal of the Emperor.

A shriek filled the air, and Seiran's heart skipped a beat—he had forgotten about Kochou's presence. As his eyes flew up to search for the source of the scream, a fist hit his face. Shuuei had taken advantage of his adversary's momentary distraction to overpower him with his physical might.

"Why you dirty, littl--!" The words were cut short as Shuuei's fist grazed his cheek once again. He bucked to unseat him, and threw a punch from a freed hand. They rolled across the room's lavish floor, knocking into chairs and other furniture. They hit the far wall with Shuuei on top.

"Just tell me where she is heading!" He managed to get one hand around Seiran's throat, pinning him down.

"Go to hell!" With dwindling air, Seiran groped for a fallen candelabra and swung it at Shuuei's head. It was a glancing blow, enough to release his abused throat, but not to get the weight off of him

Shuuei, breathing equally hard, grabbed him by his collar and shoved him against the wall. He raised his fist ready to swing again. "Too bad! I'll have to mess that pretty face of yours." He smirked, punching Seiran in the face several times.

"Step back, Ran Shogun! ",Kouchou ordered coolly holding a dagger against his back. "I won't allow you to continue disrespecting me, my guest or cause a scene in my place." Her tone and steady hand indicated she was dead serious.

Shuuei stared at her from the corner of his eyes and then at the sharp blade mere inches from his heart. Looking into her eyes, he was reminded of why men bowed before her in deference. New beads of sweats slowly started to form on his forehead. He slowly released Seiran, who got up and swung one final blow sending him to the ground.

"You ought to learn better manners, Shuuei," Seiran said, his voice ridged with anger. He wiped the blood trickling from his bruised jaw.

With some effort, Shuuei slowly pulled himself up to stand then quickly brushed at his clothes as he glared at them both. Kochou was still brandishing the shiny blade with that deadly look in her icy emerald-green eyes. He cursed under his breath and turned around storming out of the room as the two watched with relief evident on their faces.

"I'm sorry about that, Kochou. " Seiran said turning to apologize to his hostess as he sheathed his reclaimed blade.

"That's ok, darling. Sit. Let me attend to those bruises on that precious face of yours," she said helping him to the bed. She gathered the needed supply and promptly cleaned his wounds and bandaged the small cut at the corner of his mouth.

"There, that should do." She smiled caressing his cheeks, which she followed with a tender kiss on the lips. She had grown so fond of him it would have been a pity had that bastard ruined his pretty face, or worse yet killed him.

"I think I owe you some special service for having to put up with my rather rude client." She said leaning forward coaxing him to rest on her bed. Seiran winced a little, the bruises on his body were still fresh but he didn't dare turn Kochou down.

"There you go. Easy...relax. Let Kochou-oneesan take care of her sweet boy," she smiled up at him, seductively kissing his bruised jaw.

Seiran closed his eyes, relaxing as he brought his arms around her waist drawing her on top of him. Why was it that he always seem to return to her sweet embrace despite his heart's yearning for another woman? She didn't seem to mind or demand his love, which made things less complicated between them. He sighed as his mind drifted off to more pleasant thoughts like the softness of Kouchou's breasts against his bare chest and the warmth of her mouth on his lips.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

On a quiet spring afternoon in the Kou House, Kouyu announced his decision to take a permanent governing post in Kou Province. Shuurei stood quietly absorbing the unexpected news.

"There are a few things left to do to finalize the move," he continued. "I know it's short notice, but I've been thinking about things… about us, and I think this is the best for all involved."

Shuurei remained silent her eyes barely making contact.

"I've also made arrangement for both you and Murasaki-Hime so you won't want for anything." She finally looked at him with a questioning look on her face. He handed her a piece of paper nudging her to read it. She took the letter in her hand glancing over the thick black-inked document. Her eyes widened in shock as the content of the letter sunk in.

"Why... Why are you doing this?" She asked She felt her body tremble. Somewhere deep inside, something was breaking.

"Because I love you." He smiled though there was no joy in it, but rather a sadness that comes with realization that one's dream was coming to an end. "There's no need for us to keep pretending that this marriage is going to work," he continued quietly. "It was doomed from the start.

"It is neither practical nor fair for either of us, to keep you by my side while you continue to suffer in silence; it'd be too selfish of me. You need not worry about Reishin-sama. I will explain everything."

Shuurei fell silent again, the once vivacious spitfire unable to get out any words though there was so much she wanted to tell him.

Kouyu watched her face closely. "I only ask that I remain the father of Murasaki Hime. I want to be a part of her life."

She looked at him, surprised. As if she would ever dream of denying him access to their daughter! She nodded with tears now flowing freely down her cheeks. She buried her face in her hand ashamed of her emotional outburst. "I'm sorry... I am sorry," was all she could say.

"Eh," a look of momentary alarm crossed Kouyu's face before passing away. "Seems like all I ever do is make you cry," he said a bit sadly, tenderly wiping her tears with a swipe of his finger tips.

Shuurei let out a murmur of disagreement. "It's not you. It's-It's just, me." She broke out sobbing. Kouyu now did not know what to do. Despite their four years of marriage he had never been good with handling women, let alone a sobbing emotional one. He hesitantly reached out towards her shoulders, then after a slight pause, he pulled her towards him holding her against his chest as she continued crying. On that warm late spring afternoon, both Kou Shuurei and Li Kouyu had broken free of their chains of obligation,lies and guilt.

----

It wasn't long before Renshin paid Kouyu a visit, a few weeks shy of his departure for Kou Province. Renshin had thought it best to hear it directly from his son, though the whole situation had him in the foulest of moods.

"So are you giving up so easily? You are going to roll over and let that brat have her?" Renshin demanded, making no effort to conceal the disgust in his tone.

Kouyu bit his lips, cringing at his father's stinging words. While his affections for Ryuuki had long ago cooled off he still respected the man as a capable ruler. Renshin was being a lot more immature about this than he had expected.

"No." He said calmly. "I'm doing the sensible thing. The right thing," he continued.

"I'd hardly call it as such. In fact I find it utterly dumb." he pronounced, pointing his fan towards Kouyu, then raising his chin with the tip. He stared him in the eyes scrutinizing him with those sharp dark beady ones.

"Don't you love her?" He asked as if there were even a question about that.

"It's because I love her that I am letting her go."

Fine eyebrows arched, eyes widening just a hint. "Fine. Do as you wish." He snapped his fan open and left without another word.

Kouyu took a deep breath, relieved that it was over. He had thought that his domineering father would had drawn it out longer, but in the end Renshin had always wanted Kouyu to choose his own path. That had been his plan since the day he took him in. In fact he had never wanted his son to have any part in Kou's familial politics; for it would, unlike him, enable Kouyu a chance to live his life as he pleased. Kouyu knew all this. However, he was at peace with his decision and had decided to continue pursuing his one wish, which was to remain by Renshin's side to support him. He was one of the few people who could stand Renshin's overbearing, arrogant and pompous personality without having the urge to suffocate him with a pillow in his sleep. Though Kouyu did not know, this was one of the reason Renshin adore his son.

Li Kouyu retired to Kou province after giving up Shuurei to pursue her one true happiness.

Shuurei never thought that in the end she would call the imperial court home. However, she learned that home is what you make of it, and it is here where her heart lies, along side with Ryuuki.

_'When you're unsure, I'll stay by your side; if you want to complain, I'll listen as much as you want. If you want to cry, go ahead and cry. I'm not an adviser. So there's no need to act strong.' _Those words spoken back then as the emperor's make-believe consort were as true then as it was now. She was no longer obligated by her desperation for money or duty to her country, but rather simply because she loved him.

She did not protest her uncle's condition that Murasaki Hime remain a member of the Kou clan and daughter of Li Kouyu. Ryuuki, while not entirely pleased, agreed to the conditions. He simply stated his wish: that someday he would be able to have as an important place in her heart as her mother and Kouyu now held. He had no doubt that his daughter would take after his wife in her endless ability to create room for others in her heart. In time Murasaki Hime would also learn to love her other father.

Kouyu granted Shuurei an amicable divorce, on the grounds of irreconcilable differences, rather than humiliating her with accusations of adultery and soiling the name of the woman he loved and the clan he loved and headed. On his end, Ryuuki worked hard to get approval from his advisors. With assistance from Shou Taishi and threats of giving up the thrown, he managed to have a bill pass that would allow Shuurei, a divorcee, to become his consort. This was indeed a rare degree that had not been done in over a five hundred years. However, there were conditions to the bill. Shuurei would not be granted the title of empress given her status as divorcee and role though minor in government. She would hence forth be referred to as the Esteemed Consort. Murasaki Hime would simply be refer to as Lady Murasaki and would not be entitled to the royal title of Princess as she is an official member of the Kou clan. And furthermore, her paternity has not been recognized officially by Ryuuki, something that he had wavered in, in accordance with Reishin's demands. Lastly, if Ryuuki were to take other consorts or concubines and have off-springs by these women, their male children would have precedence in the matter of succession to the throne.

Ryuuki did not concern himself with this as he had long ago sworn that he would only marry one woman. Shuurei did not officially move into the imperial court until a year later for sake of propriety and pending approval of the bill which Ryuuki had proposed as a resolution to ending the heir crisis and assuring their happiness. It was on a bright spring day when Ryuuki welcomed the queen of his heart to the palace, and Kou Shuurei walked home into his arms.

The little Lady Murasaki Hime stood to one side as she closely watched the man with the same honey-colored hair as herself. A movement to the side caught her eye. She turned in time to see the last of the winter snow fall away from the branch of a tree, revealing the first sakura buds. Murasaki Hime smiled as she thought of all the hours that could be spent catching the blossoms in a couple of few weeks, under the same tree that had stood witness to the beginning of it all.

"Oji-chama! Can we have some of mommy's manjuu now?"

------

"There was a tale that Murasaki Hime loved so much...oh yeah Barahime." As much as he had come to love her, he did not want to be like the lord who'd locked up the rose princess giving her everything she wanted except freedom. The one last thing he could do for the woman he loved was let her go. He had become at peace with his decision, gone was the bitter taste of loneliness and rejection but remaining were the fond memories he had of their brief time together. Sure, there would always be the stain of that night of drunken passion, but in all he was grateful for having known what it was to love a woman--even if he may never again experience such a thing.

" If you love something, let it go free. If it doesn't come back, you never had it... Or so the saying goes." Shuuei said in agreement. He knew first hand what it was like to suffer rejection in a one-sided love, having been through a few himself.

Kouyu smiled adding, "If it comes back, love it forever." That had been his one last advice to Ryuuki before retiring from the court. He had decided to make a permanent move back to Kou Province to govern there along side his father, Reishin. His daughter would visit him in the summers or whenever else she so desired. Shuurei had promised .

Shuuei visited the Kou province often much to Kouyu's chagrin. However, over time he had become accustomed to his friend's regular visits. Shuuei was patient, he'd wait as long as it took for Him to accept his affections. He conceded that he may wait an eternity but it would be worth the wait.

Author's Notes:

(umm... where to end this story...)

hahaha onto Epilogue FINAL ONE :D

Again many thanks to all those who have reviewed this fic and also to my Beta


	11. Chapter 11

Epilogue

setting : Ryuuki and Shuurei (a year after she's allowed to move into the imperial palace)

Whispers and giggles sounded from the imperial suite of rooms but a minute ago, now however, silence reigned as the Emperor was bent over on the floor. Ryuuki rested his head gently on top of the small bulge of her belly, listening attentively to the their child's heartbeat. The thought of becoming a father and being a part of the process from the beginning was all new and it filled his heart with warmth and excitement.

His devotion to one woman and refusal to take any concubines set him apart from his predecessor---his father, a man who shared his bed with his concubines only long enough for them to be with child. Ryuuki did not want that for himself ...Shuurei was all he ever needed. His lips curved up in a smile against the softness of her skin as he thought about how beautiful she seemed to get each day despite the not so subtle changes in her body in response to the pregnancy. Perhaps it was because of these changes that he found her somehow more desirable and had found himself wanting, _craving_ for her even more than before. He had been afraid of hurting her during their moments of intimacy, consequently restraining himself to merely touching her when the urge stroked, which was quite often.

Shuurei watched him quietly, a gentle smile on her face , running her fingers through his silky honey colored strands which seemed to shimmer under the soft candle light. She stifled a giggle as she felt his fingers playfully trace circles around her navel, an area he had discovered to be one of her most sensitive spots. He was in the mood. She had gotten accustomed to his body language picking up on his less than subtle hints when he was in need of the comfort of her body or just wanting to rest cradled in her arms. Sometimes it surprised her how much he still needed and desperately wanted her despite all she had put him through with her stubbornness and years of rejection.

"What is it?" She asked absently.

"It's hard...but I've been good at it for years... I think I can go for a few more months without ..." he confessed woefully.

"You know, it's okay to do more," she gently interrupted stroking his cheeks with her soft finger tips.

"But the baby?" he asked, looking at her questioningly.

"Dr. Tou told me the other day that it's safe...at least up 'til to the point where I am all belly and can no longer see my feet and am big as a house," she laughingly informed him.

"Really? " He said straightening himself up so that he was now sitting at her side. She couldn't help but smile at the renewed enthusiasm evident on his face.

"Really," she replied as she sat up against the pillow.

"It's a relief...I was seriously contemplating on moving out into my own bed until then. I'm not sure how much longer I could have kept up the role of the good patient husband," he said lowering his voice as he pulled her into his arm burying his face into her hair. She smelled like the sweet scented jasmine bath she had taken earlier. He wouldn't hold back.

Shuurei returned the embrace relaxing comfortably in his arms. He could easily have taken another lover to satisfy his carnal needs while she was in her current state but he wanted no other but her and this made him more dear to her heart than she thought possible.

"You can have me any way you like," she whispered softly against his heated skin.

"If you put it that way..." He said with a sultry smile coaxing her onto her back as he followed her down onto the bed. He hovered over her staring at her with a glint of mischief and eagerness evident in his eyes while his right hand slowly pulled loose the tie to her night garment exposing her full rounded breasts to him. He ran his hands up from her thighs to the gentle curve of her breasts all the while keeping his gaze locked on hers. He did not want to miss a single shiver, gasp or moan from her. He pressed against the swell of her breasts enjoying their exquisite satin smoothness as he lowered his lips to take in a plump hardened nipple. She winced as her breasts contracted painfully from the stimulation of his tongue on her sensitive nub. Sensing her discomfort he reluctantly released the nipple with an audible pop and decided to distract himself with other equally lovely parts of her anatomy.

"Sorry," he whispered sweetly, kissing the exquisite flesh of her jawline and then down the hollow of her neck. She responded by tangling her hands into his hair holding him there for a short while until he managed to escaped her fingers as he continued his kisses south from her chest then onto her belly. He suckled the skin around her navel causing her to giggle out loud. He smiled enjoying the delightful sound of her laughter ad mist their love making. He went further down pushing her gown open to reveal more of the smooth ivory skin of her hips and thighs. He planted a lingering wet kiss to the silky skin of her inner thighs causing her to shiver and involuntary move to close her legs but he was fast, firmly keeping her open and accessible to him. He looked at her momentarily but her eyes were shut tight, brow furrowed as if concentrating. He smirked returning to his task. He moved to her moist opening parting the lips with his slender fingers. He slid his tongue into her heated sex ,gently tasting her. Shuurei shuddered expectantly as she felt his warm breath hovering against her sensitive flesh. She grabbed his head pulling him away . He looked at her puzzled.

"I ...I want..." She breathed heavily unable to get herself to say it. However, he knew what she wanted and was more than happy to comply with her desires but...

"I don't want to hurt you...or the baby." he said, concern evident in his tone.

"Ryuuki, it's ok. I trust you." She placed her hand gently against his cheek reassuring him.

He moved up to rest next to her and she in turned towards him so they were facing each other. Her face was flushed and she was eager with anticipation as her raspy breathing echoed through her room. Her readiness to make love was something he found an aphrodisiac of it's own and he wondered if part of it wasn't all that pregnancy hormone taking over her body.

He brought her closer wrapping his arms around her waist. Their lips met engaging in a long, wet kiss while their limbs entangled with each other drawing their body in an intimate embrace. When their body finally joined she felt complete, enjoying the feel of him inside of her as she always had. He drew her possessively into his arms yet was careful not to hurt her or their child. She rested her head in the crook of his neck as they remained linked breathing heavily, their thirst for each other momentarily quenched.

"We should do this more often," he said kissing her lightly on the forehead. She nodded relaxing her head onto his shoulder.

"Nee Ryuuki , have you thought about names ?"

"Um? for the baby? "

"Yes."

"Not really. We still have time to worry about that later," he said fondly rubbing her belly.

"Um...I see. Well when the time comes I hope you come up with clever names for two." She said looking at him.

"Sure. …WHAT?! Two...Twins?! " He shrieked sitting up staring back at her incredulously.

She chuckled, thoroughly loving the priceless look of shock on the Emperor's face.

--------

Amidst the rejoicing of the following new year's festivities, the kingdom of Saiunkoku was blessed with the birth of the long awaited heirs to the throne. The birth had been a difficult one but in the end Shuurei had given Ryuuki two healthy sons assuring continuation of the Shi dynasty and appeasing the meddling elders at court. Dr. Tou had also told her in no uncertain terms that her birthing days were over. Shuurei's reaction was one of relief. While she loved her children, pregnancy was cumbersome and if she had to go through another nine-month of Ryuuki treating her like an invalid, she'd commit murder.

Ryuuki while grateful that his wife and and children were sound and safe, seemed worry. Shuurei sensing his hesitation and guessing his concern smiled. She held her hands out to him, which he took sitting next to his wife on the bed.

"Ryuuki...we've been blessed with two more kids. There's no need to worry."

"I know...but yet..."

"Yet you worry about what happened years ago?"

He nodded thinking back to those terrible dark days when their land was torn by civil war as a results of his older brothers' quarrel over the thrown.

"Don't worry," she soothed him. "Things have changed. I promise you that no child of ours will go through what you've been through with your brothers. As long as we provide them with the love and stability any child deserves I have no doubt they'll turn out to be fine young men like their father and uncle." She smiled as she affectionately caressed his cheek with a comforting hand.

"Shuurei..." He hugged, her reassured by her promise that things would be different and better for their children. She assured Ryuuki that her children would love and cherish each other as much as he cherishes his brother Seiran. There would be no repeat of the tragedy that happened amongst his other siblings. Her children would be loved and cared for.

In turn she would make sure they would be raised to become just and fair rulers that would bring prosperity and peace to their people. Her dream of serving their country was not lost, but rather would continue through her sons and daughter.

**THE END!**

Author Note: My Muses are dried up like a prune left out in the Texan Sun!

Sorry for the sucky ending :(

Hopefully the new year will bring in more story ideas for this series !

Happy New Year Everyone!


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